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AITA for not wanting a female ther***st?

by Alex Johnson
October 22, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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A young man grappling with deep-rooted struggles makes the courageous choice to seek therapy, hoping to unravel the complexities of his identity and heal old wounds. His desire for a male therapist, particularly an older one, stems from a profound need to confront his challenges with masculinity and unresolved paternal issues, a step he believes is vital for his growth.

Yet, this personal decision ignites tension with his sister, who champions the benefits of therapy but clashes with his specific preferences, labeling him unfairly. Their conflict exposes the raw emotional terrain of understanding, acceptance, and the nuanced ways we seek help on our paths to healing.

AITA for not wanting a female therapist?

I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy....

So I have many issues I want to sort out....

someone over 50 This is because one of my issues...

I also have "daddy issues" that I need to sort...

Anyway when I said this my sister said I was...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

drunkonmartinis NTA. Stop discussing it with her- she is not...

Pick whatever kind of therapist you want.

The most important thing is that you are comfortable with...

Doesn't matter what gender they are, if they're a d**n...

If they've got a degree and you get good vibes...

you're good Tbh I'd tell your sister to f**k off...

add: YAY OP for taking this huge step and exploring...

so you're already ahead of the game. Your future self...

JemimaAslana NTA Time to stop sharing those thoughts with your...

Once you've worked through some things, your therapist's gender probably...

JudgeJudAITA And that's okay.: NTA. Here is the thing -...

If there is a characteristic about a therapist that would...

Are you being unfair to them? Yes, you are. But...

It may even be a goal to strive for, down...

to get comfortable enough with your masculinity to be able...

But you have to start down that road, first. Don't...

pepperbeast Just don't give up working towards it.: NTA.

Your relationship with your therapist is very personal, and it's...

This is no business of your sister's, and she needs...

FoxesInSweaters NTA No point in therapy if you're uncomfortable with...

kadeee7 NTA I am a woman and there has been...

another. I picked a woman therapist because she was more...

CulturedPhilistine NTA It's your therapy, if that's how you want...

You want to get the best out of it, so...

HeavenlyApple_666 NTA.

I'm a woman of color who specifically sought out a...

these traits that I want my therapist to inherently understand...

Another example, I wouldn't fault someone who is q**er or...

But it's also very important to say that these are...

I recommend that you just be open in your search....

then be hyper vigilante and aware on how progressive and...

You want to be sure that you're not doing this...

and not challenge your internalized feeling of these things. Therapists...

So, treat it like you're dating and choose someone for...

You may find out that your male preference is a...

but you could also discover that a woman is actually...

help you toward healing. It's all a journey and you...

KatFrog So, just be open to the experience. Good luck!:...

It's no more s***st for you to want to see...

trabsol NTA. And that's not misogynistic.

If you're trying to explore and understand masculinity, a male...

just like how a female therapist would better help with...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s desire to find a therapist who feels like a good fit for his specific needs. Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and the preference for an older male therapist in this case stems from his comfort level and the particular issues he wants to address—masculinity and father-related challenges. Most commenters agree that choosing a therapist is about what works best for the individual, and preferences based on gender or age are not inherently sexist, especially when tied to personal healing goals.

In my opinion, the sister’s reaction may stem from her own experiences and assumptions, but it doesn’t invalidate the original poster’s feelings or choices. Therapy is about finding support that resonates, and imposing double standards on such a personal decision seems unfair. Ultimately, respecting each other’s paths to healing—whether through a male or female therapist—is what’s most important. The OP is not an AH for wanting a therapist who aligns with his comfort and therapeutic needs.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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