In the shadow of his siblings, a young man carried the invisible weight of undiagnosed ADHD, a silent struggle dismissed and misunderstood by those closest to him. His every forgetful moment, every lost minute, was met not with empathy, but with scorn and disbelief, deepening the chasm between him and the family he longed to connect with.
Years of being labeled difficult and careless left wounds that no apology could easily heal. When his diagnosis finally emerged from the shadows, it wasn’t a balm but a new target for ridicule—mocked for the very challenges he hoped would be met with understanding. In this fractured family dynamic, his pain was both invisible and magnified, a quiet battle for acceptance amid relentless dismissal.
AITA for telling my family I’m not forgetful anymore I’m just choosing not to be around them?
As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This situation highlights a severe breakdown in establishing healthy relational boundaries, where the family system consistently failed to support a member struggling with a documented neurodevelopmental condition, shifting from punishment to mockery once the diagnosis was confirmed.
The OP’s siblings and parents initially responded to his symptoms (forgetfulness, inattention) with harshness, suggesting a lack of understanding regarding neurodivergence. When the ADHD diagnosis provided an explanation, their reaction—switching to mockery and joking that he was ‘useless’—indicates a failure to take responsibility for their prior punitive reactions. This behavior shifted the dynamic from external discipline to emotional abuse centered on his disability. The OP’s withdrawal is a natural, protective response to an environment that validates suffering only as fodder for entertainment.
The OP’s actions to disengage and prioritize his well-being through specialized support programs were appropriate for managing the trauma inflicted by this toxic dynamic. For future interactions, the constructive recommendation is to maintain the current low-contact stance while clearly communicating, if necessary, that any future engagement requires the family to acknowledge the harm done and commit to respectful, non-mocking communication. If they cannot respect these boundaries, continued distance is necessary for sustained healing.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.
The Original Poster (OP) is facing significant emotional distress stemming from years of his family dismissing and later mocking his struggles with undiagnosed and then poorly managed ADHD. His current decision to limit contact is a direct response to this history of invalidation and ridicule, placing him in conflict with his family’s expectation that he should accept their behavior and maintain close ties.
Given the OP’s clear need for self-protection against ongoing emotional harm, the question remains: Is prioritizing personal mental health and setting firm boundaries by distancing oneself from family who mocked past suffering a justified act of self-preservation, or does the perceived obligation to family loyalty outweigh the impact of their past and present dismissive behavior?
