At just 20, she was cornered into a marriage she never wanted, her pleas drowned out by the weight of tradition and family pressure. Despite her desperate attempts to resist and even the husband’s initial chance to refuse, she found herself trapped in a relationship that felt more like a prison than a partnership.
Three years later, the man arrived with a visa, stepping into the life she had tried to escape, shattering any fragile peace she had managed to build. Boundaries she set were ignored, her autonomy dismissed, and her cries for freedom met with cold refusal, leaving her caught in a relentless battle for her own dignity and consent.
AITA for treating the guy I got forced to marry horribly
As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this scenario, the OP has communicated her boundaries clearly—she did not want the marriage, she wants a divorce, and she does not consent to sexual intimacy—yet these boundaries are not just ignored but actively contested by her husband, who equates marriage with forced compliance.
The husband’s behavior demonstrates a profound misunderstanding, or outright rejection, of consent, especially in the context of marriage. His insistence that the OP ‘get over’ the coercion of the past three years and ‘fall in love’ disregards her autonomy and emotional reality. This pattern of ignoring ‘no’ until the OP escalates to yelling is a common tactic used to shift blame: the aggressor forces a situation to an extreme, then frames the victim’s justified defensive reaction (yelling) as the ‘problematic’ behavior, thereby masking his initial violation.
The OP’s actions to maintain physical safety through resistance and preparing to leave are entirely appropriate responses to continuous sexual assault and coercion. The self-doubt she experiences stems from the gaslighting effect of her parents and husband presenting him as a ‘nice good guy.’ For future situations, the most constructive recommendation is to prioritize immediate physical safety and legal avenues for separation, as communication strategies are ineffective when one party fundamentally does not respect the other’s right to bodily autonomy.
REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.
The original poster is in an extremely distressing situation, trapped in a marriage she was coerced into, now facing daily boundary violations and sexual assault from her husband, who is supported by her parents. Her central conflict lies between her clear refusal of intimacy and the persistent, aggressive demands from her husband, amplified by her family’s pressure to accept the relationship.
Given the clear pattern of coercion, non-consensual sexual acts, and the breakdown of mental health, is the poster overreacting by preparing to flee, or is her self-doubt justified because of the external narrative that paints her husband as a good person trying his best?
