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Coworkers call me r***st for getting my curly hair done at a Black-owned salon

by John Doe
October 30, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In a world where her natural curls were misunderstood and mistreated, a woman’s journey to embrace her true self began with pain and neglect. Raised in a family unfamiliar with her unique hair, she endured harsh cuts and frustration, her identity tangled in knots both literal and emotional. Yet, amid the struggle, a friendship blossomed that would change everything — a bridge to understanding, acceptance, and love for the hair she once despised.

Through the kindness of a friend who shared her hair’s story, she discovered a sanctuary where her curls were celebrated, not shunned. This newfound care not only transformed her hair but also her confidence, illuminating the power of empathy and cultural connection. But when faced with judgment from those who couldn’t see beyond the surface, she stood at the crossroads of identity and belonging, ready to defend the beauty that had been hard-won.

Aita for only going to black salons

I am a 30 year old white woman with thick...

I have always struggled with my hair and was adopted...

ma*sacred by scissors to make it short to be easier...

When i went to uni i met my best friend...

She showed me hair products from brands intended for black...

My hair has been amazing ever since, theyve been the...

Well onto the actual argument, me and some friends from...

One of the women ( also white) commented that it...

When i asked why she said that its kind of...

I dont know if she is right and if i...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

This situation touches upon concepts of cultural appropriation versus cultural exchange and the practical realities of physical differences. The core issue is not about imitation for fashion or performance, but about accessing necessary and effective care for a specific biological trait (textured hair). The OP’s hair type, despite her being white, requires the specific techniques and products developed within the Black haircare community because her adopted family could not provide adequate care, leading to damage. Her friend’s initial guidance was an act of support, not initiation into a closed culture. The accusation of appropriation often centers on power dynamics—where a dominant group takes elements from a marginalized group without understanding or respect. However, when a service addresses a physical necessity that other mainstream options fail to meet, the dynamic shifts toward utility and self-preservation.

The OP’s actions appear appropriate given the context of receiving necessary, effective care that resolved past physical harm. The colleague’s reaction stems from a misunderstanding of the difference between appropriation (often superficial or exploitative) and utilization of effective solutions. A constructive recommendation for the OP would be to clearly communicate the functional necessity of the products—emphasizing that the choice is dictated by the physical structure of her hair, not cultural adoption. If the issue arises again, she can firmly state that she seeks quality care for her hair texture, which happens to be best provided by professionals trained in that specific area.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

sert965 NTA, black woman here with 4c hair. You use...

It wouldn't be a black vs white issue if the...

GoldenFrog14 NTA and as a black dude, I really wish...

bklynpeter It's not helping in the way they think it...

was cultural appropriation; the black women who style your hair,...

snowdude11 :- >

black products and services that should only be used by...

Shouldn't she be happy you are supporting a black-owned business...

inthe801 NTA: NTA, people take the "cultural appropriation" thing way...

My wife is black and my kids are mixed race.

I can't tell you how many times my son's hair...

LeReineNoir It's about your hair, not "race". You're supporting black-owned...

Your coworkers do not understand what it takes to take...

Cultural appropriation is Rachel Dolezal pretending to be black for...

Cultural appropriation is fashion designers who are not indigenous/Native Peoples...

or acknowledging the significance of those designs.

Black hair products were formulated originated for black hair care...

The bonus is it works great for all curly-heads. So...

continue being beautiful, rock your glorious curls, and thank you...

Thank you kind anonymous Redditor for the gold!

DarkRogus NTA - This is the reason why people laugh...

Seriously, "cultural appropriation" for going to a black salon and...

Here's the thing, I can practically guarantee you that your...

they care that you're a paying customer.

The original poster (OP) is facing a conflict where her practical need for proper hair care clashes with a friend’s accusation that using culturally specific products and services constitutes appropriation. The OP feels conflicted because the resources recommended by her Black friend have drastically improved her hair health, yet she is now being made to feel guilty for utilizing them.

Is the use of hair products and salon services specifically formulated for Black hair types by a white woman, when done out of genuine necessity for proper hair care, an act of cultural appropriation, or is it simply a practical choice based on superior efficacy and care?

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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