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AITA For Not Telling My GF Why I’m Tall?

by Michael Lee
November 8, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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He was just a young man chasing his dreams abroad, starting university with the excitement of newfound independence and a surprising growth spurt that seemed like a blessing at first. What began as a thrilling change in height soon spiraled into a silent battle with mysterious migraines and dizzy spells, a hidden storm brewing within that no one saw coming.

As his body continued to grow beyond the ordinary, the shadows of uncertainty crept in, culminating in a devastating diagnosis—a tumor on his pituitary gland. The journey that started with hope and excitement now faced a daunting fight for health and normalcy, testing the strength of both him and those who loved him.

AITA For Not Telling My GF Why I’m Tall?

I'm M23 and my GF is f24 we've been together...

I was about 5'5 when I left and slowly after...

I went to the Dr in the country I was...

I went home for the summer and everyone was surprised...

I had no medical symptoms so didn't go to the...

I was still growing slightly and I was around 6ft...

It was pretty mild so I stupidly ignored it for...

I went to a large hospital near my uni instead...

crazy height gain. The tumor was stimulating the gland to...

I flew back home ASAP and my parents took me...

5 after about 2 yrs of having this tumor while...

I met my GF last year and I basically have...

I told my GF that I had a brain tumor...

I didn't tell her it caused me to get tall...

She found a picture of me at my prom and...

She was surprised and asked more about it so I...

To my surprise she got mad and said that I...

Which is true my genes didn't change, my kids would...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This situation highlights a significant breach in perceived relational boundaries concerning transparency and disclosure. The OP’s motivation for withholding the information appears rooted in downplaying a past medical trauma and perhaps avoiding perceived judgment; since no one else inquired, he assumed it was unimportant information.

The girlfriend’s reaction, while intense (calling him a “huge asshole”), stems from feeling that a fundamental aspect of his identity—his physical history and potential genetic contribution—was deliberately concealed. In long-term relationships, especially those considering a future involving children, partners often operate under the assumption of full disclosure regarding major life events or physical alterations. The OP’s failure to communicate the link between the tumor and his height change created a perception of active deceit, even if the intent was benign.

The OP’s actions were understandable given his context (no one else cared, he was healthy), but they were not entirely appropriate for a committed partnership. A constructive approach for the future involves recognizing that medical history, even when resolved, forms part of the shared narrative. If a major physical change occurred, proactively sharing the context, rather than waiting for discovery, fosters trust. The girlfriend should also be encouraged to process her reaction constructively, focusing on future trust rather than past omission.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

alwaystired7 NTA why does she care so much about how...

It's not like shorter people have horrible lives. And for...

Rhomya 100% NTA. You can't control the TUMOR that grew...

Are you kidding me? My brother is 6'8", and he...

Genes wouldn't guarantee a short/tall child anyways- it increases the...

If she was so perfectly happy to be with you...

teke367 she's not a girlfriend, she's a shallow pile of...

because you'd think being taller (and therefore, having more volume)...

Cory-gang NTA. I find this super weird and not important....

terpsich**ebook she dropped several of these: NTA It seems like...

yourself to her - about you having a tumor, etc....

Her considering the potential height of your potential kids is...

You are not a breeding stallion for her to need...

serjaf NTA, she can be taken aback as this is...

But getting frustrated or angry at you? Nope, this just...

LynetteScavo78 And also: : NTA You didn't have to a*sume...

just looking for a sperm donator coming from a line...

Also, while genes do matter you never know 100% what's...

My husband and I are both rather tall (with him...

Our son is about 178cm and our daughter isn't even...

However, I wish you all the best and hope your...

The central conflict revolves around the Original Poster’s (OP) decision to withhold information regarding the medical cause of his significant height gain from his girlfriend. While the OP believed the topic was irrelevant after the tumor was removed, the girlfriend views this omission as a form of dishonesty about his fundamental physical characteristics, especially concerning potential future children.

Is the OP justified in withholding details about a resolved medical issue that altered his natural height trajectory, or was the girlfriend’s reaction an overblown response to information that does not affect the current health or stability of their relationship? Should prospective partners be entitled to complete disclosure regarding all past medical events, regardless of current relevance?

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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