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AITA for talking about when I was pregnant, even though I don’t have children?

by Emily Davis
November 13, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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She carries a quiet strength forged in the shadows of loss, having faced the heartache of pregnancy that never reached its full bloom. Though her womb could not hold life, her spirit embraces the path she walks—a path unchosen but accepted, where motherhood is not defined by birth but by the resilience to find peace within her own story.

Yet, in the delicate dance of shared joy and sorrow, her boundaries are tested. As others celebrate the miracles she once longed for, a whispered command to silence her past pain cuts deep, questioning her right to speak of a journey only she truly knows. In this, she stands alone, navigating the fragile line between empathy and exclusion in a world quick to judge who belongs to the narrative of motherhood.

AITA for talking about when I was pregnant, even though I don’t have children?

Long story short I can't carry to term. Any time...

I'm not as maternal as I thought I would be,...

When we were working outside of home, three woman in...

etc well into their late terms, and celebrate when they...

Only one person in the office knew about my situation....

The one person who knows my situation in my office...

because I'm not a mother and since I won't be...

However now I feel like the AH for ever talking...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this scenario, the colleague attempted to enforce a boundary based on the final outcome (motherhood) rather than the shared experience (pregnancy), which became hurtful to the OP.

The colleague’s motivation likely stems from a protective instinct—perhaps projecting their own intense desire or sensitivity surrounding motherhood onto the OP. However, this response fails to acknowledge that the OP endured the physical and emotional reality of pregnancy, including cravings and associated discussions, even if the outcome was loss. Psychological principles suggest that shared lived experience often forms the basis for connection, and invalidating that experience based on a future state (or lack thereof) is a form of social exclusion. The OP’s feelings of being the ‘AH’ are a secondary response to the initial invalidation; they are internalizing the colleague’s poorly phrased boundary.

The OP’s action of sharing was appropriate given the established rapport, even if only one person knew the full context. The colleague’s action, while perhaps well-intentioned in theory, was delivered insensitively and caused unnecessary pain. A more constructive approach for the OP in the future would be to gently re-establish their participation by stating, “I understand your point, but I did go through the physical process, and I’d like to share those parts of the experience with you.” If the colleague continues to police the conversation, the OP should limit future discussions on that specific topic with that individual.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Wild_Ad1498 NTA The coworker messaged you is a ma*sive a*shole...

StAlvis not make you any less of a mother: NTA...

mikey_weasel you were talking about **pregnancy**. ##You've BEEN pregnant.: NTA....

That comment to you was BRUTAL. Like i-had-to-check-your-profile-to see-if-you-were-obviously-trolling brutal....

This seems like a relationship-severing statement for them to make.

This might also be the sort of thing that might...

pineboxwaiting NTA Unless you're saying things like "When I was...

" only because that specific turn of phrase would freak...

If your conversations don't typically turn awkward, there's no reason...

nano-cola Sorry if this is over dramatic but I feel...

talk about your very real pregnancies bc "you're not a...

However you may feel about the situation is up to...

[deleted] That's completely over the line. NTA: NTA. What do...

Her comment was just cruel and not okay. You experienced...

not parenthood. What if, you weren't emotionally okay with your...

eaw1124 Her comment is gross: NTA.

You were pregnant before and I don't think that just...

The original poster (OP) is grappling with significant emotional pain stemming from the inability to carry pregnancies to term, a situation they have outwardly accepted as leading to a childfree life. This acceptance is now challenged by an insensitive comment from a colleague, forcing the OP to question their right to share experiences related to pregnancy, despite having gone through the physical and emotional process.

Was the colleague justified in telling the OP to stop sharing pregnancy experiences because they will not become a mother, or does the shared experience of pregnancy symptoms and discussions grant the OP the right to participate in those conversations? The core conflict lies between respecting the colleague’s feelings about motherhood versus validating the OP’s lived experiences.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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