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AITA, Wife (32) wants to get rid of our dog. I (30) do not.

by Emily Davis
November 13, 2025
in Aita, Relationships
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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In the quiet corners of their shared home, a silent struggle brews beneath the surface of what once seemed like a perfect union. A husband’s love for the dog he nurtured grows deeper with every walk and playful moment, while his wife, overwhelmed and distant, grapples with feelings of detachment and exhaustion. What was meant to be a shared joy has become a quiet rift, underscored by the looming challenges of expanding family life.

Amid the tender chaos of toddlers and newborn dreams, the dog—a symbol of companionship and hope—becomes a source of tension rather than comfort. The wife’s fears of being overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood and pet care reveal a raw, emotional crossroads where love, duty, and exhaustion collide. It is a poignant reminder of how the bonds we cherish can sometimes unravel when life’s pressures weigh heaviest.

AITA, Wife (32) wants to get rid of our dog. I (30) do not.

My wife and I have been married for three years....

We both work from home so there is always someone...

My wife never really bonded with the dog as I...

I think she expected a puppy to act like a...

and they have asked to have the dog stay over...

There didn't seem to be any issues with this. We...

She has recently said she feels like she would be...

They have joked about doing so ever since we got...

I do occasionally travel for work, maybe I'm away five...

But otherwise I feel like it was her decision to...

I would miss having the dog around, but my wife...

she feels she wouldn't be able to give any of...

Ultimately I think she regrets getting the dog and doesn't...

particularly when she has what she sees as a win...

I work five days a week, my wife works two....

I then have her on Sat**days and we do family...

She handles polishing, laundry, and bathroom/kitchen cleaning.

As renowned family therapist Dr. Virginia Satir explained, “Feelings are facts.”. This situation highlights a fundamental misalignment between the couple’s emotional realities regarding pet ownership and shared responsibility, especially as major life changes (the second pregnancy) alter their capacity for emotional and physical labor.

The situation presents a classic case of unmet expectations leading to perceived unfair burden. The wife, who initiated the desire for the dog, appears to be experiencing significant anticipatory overwhelm, viewing the dog as a flexible responsibility that can be transferred when the load of childcare increases. The OP, conversely, has emotionally bonded with the dog and views the commitment as non-negotiable, especially since he performs the majority of the hands-on care (walks, training). This division of labor—where the OP performs the physical care while the wife has the final say on its disposition—creates a power imbalance regarding the pet’s status.

The wife’s proposal, while seemingly a practical solution to ease her upcoming maternity leave burden, dismisses the OP’s emotional investment and undermines the integrity of their joint decisions. While the OP’s actions in wanting to keep the dog are appropriate given his primary care role, a more constructive approach would involve a detailed, collaborative discussion about resource allocation—specifically, how the physical and emotional labor of the dog could be redistributed among both parents or external temporary solutions sought, rather than defaulting to permanent rehoming when the wife’s workload shifts.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Choppaotta NTA If you only travel 5 days a month,

that is a very small window of time she has...

Maybe the days you have travelling, is when the pup...

That way she isn't overwhelmed and she can't say you...

It sounds like she might be a wee bit jealous...

That happened with my parents, and my mom kind of...

SmartPriceCola NAH Of course your not an a-hole for wanting...

But I'm not sure she is either based on the...

ie, she knows they are suitable and can still check...

angryolive2 Perhaps a hard and difficult conversation is due: INFO:...

you travel? Because otherwise, you're willing to do all the...

UnableHorse NAH this is a tough one.

Obviously you're not an a*shole for wanting to keep your...

but neither is she for being overwhelmed by a young...

And she's not suggesting you drop it off at a...

but rather that it goes to a loving family home...

I know Reddit loves to get riled up about dogs...

but sometimes it is the best thing for the dog...

It is just a pet at the end, one you...

If your wife is having issues, talk to her some...

Pregnancy may be exacerbating the problem too and if you...

stand their dogs - it mostly goes away from what...

But sometimes doesn't and your wife takes preference in the...

ConsistentCheesecake I think being away five days a month is...

a newborn, and a dog to take care of! Giving...

but you need to listen to your wife and take...

Perhaps having the dog stay with the in laws whenever...

Perhaps you should start turning down work trips so that...

The_Thugmuffin NAH as long as you listen to each other...

Your wife isn't trying to drop the dog off to...

a toddler, and a dog to be overwhelming and here...

(And it is a good solution for all reasons except...

and dog. She is pregnant right now and tired all...

Take ask much of the burden as you can now...

but as they get older the attention load will lessen...

Also, let her know all the great things about dogs....

babies get better long term immunity and digestion when exposed...

Edit: I've seen a lot of '5 days isn't a...

That's freaking ridiculous that people would think that it is...

One day alone is a lot. Your wife would get...

These people posting must not have children if they think...

poyorick I am going to go against the grain here...

You wife says she is overwhelmed and you are saying...

You say you handle most of the dog stuff, but...

My guess is that she probably does significantly more of...

Maybe giving away the dog is not the solution, but...

If you want to keep the dog (and the health...

The original poster (OP) is facing a significant conflict regarding the future of the family dog, a commitment he views as permanent, while his wife is seeking to permanently rehome the animal due to overwhelming future responsibilities involving a toddler and a new baby.

The core debate centers on whether the wife’s perceived need to reduce stress and manage new family demands justifies breaking the initial agreement to keep the dog, or if the OP’s commitment to the pet, which he primarily cares for, should take precedence despite the changing family dynamics.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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