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Roommate yelled at me because I didn’t set an alarm for her to wake up

by Jane Smith
November 21, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In the quiet vulnerability of an early morning, a simple change in plans sparked an unexpected tension between two young women sharing a fragile dormitory wall. One, blessed with unexpected free time, sought solace in extra rest, while the other scrambled against the clock, their hurried steps echoing through thin partitions that blurred the lines between private struggles.

What began as a routine morning unfolded into a silent battle of patience and understanding, where the thin walls carried more than just sound—they carried the weight of unspoken frustrations and the delicate balance of coexistence in a shared space.

AITA for turning off my alarm in the morning resulting in my roommate missing her first class?

My (21F) roommate (20F) are living in the same college...

our rooms are adjacent to one another and the walls...

My first cla*s on Mondays is normally at 9 in...

around 7: 45 and checked my email to see that...

Around 9: 30 I woke up to the sound of...

I got up out of bed and walked out into...

As soon as she saw me, she got this scowl...

Then she tells me that, thanks to me, she's super...

I had no idea that was the case and still...

After a few minutes she was out the door and...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

This situation highlights a significant breakdown in personal boundaries and shared responsibility within a living arrangement. The roommate has externalized the fundamental task of time management (setting an alarm) onto the OP. This behavior suggests a dependency pattern where the roommate is not taking ownership of her schedule, which is a critical life skill, especially in a college setting. The OP’s decision to turn off their alarm was a reasonable action based on their canceled class, but they were operating under the assumption that the roommate maintained independent adult routines. The roommate’s anger stems from the negative consequence of her own lack of preparation, projected onto the OP.

The OP’s actions (turning off their alarm) were appropriate given their circumstances, though an immediate, brief communication might have mitigated the conflict had they known the dependency existed. Moving forward, the constructive recommendation for the OP is to establish clear, explicit boundaries regarding shared routines. They should have a direct conversation with the roommate, clearly stating that they manage their own schedule and that the roommate must set and rely only on her own alarms for classes.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

RationallySkeptic "I tried to apologise" NO!! At 20, she can...

There was no communication from her she relied on your...

FloppyEaredDog NTA: Y T A to yourself for apologising when...

It just gives people the message that you're an easy...

The fact that you're even debating if you're an a*shole...

None of this is a criticism, I know this from...

ElKristy NTA. You're not responsible for making sure she gets...

Dorkhette Hope she comes back in a better mood and...

And you didn't need to apologize either, as you did...

MamaH1620 There is no excuse for her not setting her...

You are not her mommy & she needs to grow...

*Do not* apologize to this girl, unless it's one of...

but maybe you should set your own alarm from now...

FoxBun_17 NTA It's her own fault for not setting her...

DPRRJM You're not responsible for managing someone else's schedule.: NTA.

She needs to be an adult and set her own...

The original poster (OP) faced an unexpected situation where they chose to sleep in after canceling their early class, which directly impacted their roommate who relied on the OP’s alarm. The central conflict lies in the roommate’s expectation that the OP should manage her schedule, contrasting with the OP’s autonomy over their own alarm settings and sleep schedule.

Is the OP responsible for proactively ensuring their roommate wakes up for class, or is the roommate solely accountable for setting their own necessary alarms? Readers must weigh the benefits of considerate cohabitation against the principle of personal responsibility.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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