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AITA for not letting a dog that we adopted visit the family that abandoned him?

by Alex Johnson
November 27, 2025
in Aita, Family
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the shadow of a fractured past, an abandoned elderly dog found himself cast aside, left to face the twilight of his life alone and in pain. Yet, in the gentle hands of a compassionate stranger who had never known a pet before, he discovered an unexpected sanctuary where love and care breathed new life into his weary frame.

Through tireless devotion and tender care, this fragile soul was transformed from a sickly, forgotten creature into a vibrant spirit, reclaiming joy and strength once thought lost. In those quiet moments of healing and hope, a bond was forged that transcended years of neglect, proving that even the most broken hearts can be mended with kindness.

AITA for not letting a dog that we adopted visit the family that abandoned him?

My then bf (let's call him Bob) and his ex...

They split up when the dog was just a few...

A couple of months into meeting my bf, Tina abandoned...

He was lethargic and sickly. I had never had a...

I helped my bf run him to the vet and...

I ended up paying for parts of the treatment just...

Complete 180. Since my bf was gone most of the...

Tina was Bobs first real relationship and in many ways...

Tina on the other hand, had moved on and had...

It was something that I put my foot down about...

A few months after abandoning the dog she came back...

I said she is more than welcome to bring her...

take him back to a home where he was mistreated....

I would not be there to support this decision. Ultimately...

She went apeshit and sent him a 100 texts about...

let you see the dog anymore" and then took a...

I feel bad for the little boy too but I...

So AITA for not agreeing to send the dog back...

As renowned family therapist and author Terrence Real states, ‘The core of intimacy is trustworthiness, and trustworthiness is built on the practice of honoring your word.’ In this scenario, the OP stepped in to honor the commitment to the dog’s welfare when Tina abandoned it, establishing a new reality where the OP and Bob were the trustworthy caregivers.

The core issue here is boundary negotiation within a primary relationship complicated by lingering emotional entanglement with an ex-partner. Tina’s actions—abandoning the dog, maintaining contact, and then leveraging her child’s distress after boundaries were set—are classic examples of emotional manipulation designed to elicit guilt and re-establish control over Bob. The OP correctly identified the dog’s return for ‘visits’ as a pretext to reinsert herself into Bob’s life under the guise of shared responsibility for the pet. The OP’s firm stance protected the dog from predictable neglect and protected the relationship with Bob from further erosion by Tina.

The OP’s actions regarding the dog were appropriate given the evidence of past neglect and current manipulative behavior. However, Bob’s ensuing guilt highlights a weakness in the couple’s united front. For future situations, the recommendation is for the OP and Bob to engage in joint, non-defensive communication with Tina, presenting a unified decision about the dog’s care, rather than allowing the OP to appear as the sole enforcer of the boundary.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

lumpthefoff NTA - That's not his kid (supposedly) so he...

Remind him of the state the dog was in when...

MirellineWhiff She destroyed his health and just dumped him on...

she dipped when the dog needed her most n now...

thaiabandoned Bob will dump you/cheat on you as soon as...

He is too far gone under her manipulation. So sorry,...

Sodium_Junkie624 NTA: NTA Tina is being manipulative to y'all and...

absolutely keep him away from Tina at all costs And...

VegaofLyra From not fully moving on but still dating you...

NTA So Tina is abusive to everyone. You, you bf,...

And you need to consider if/how you go forward in...

Lady-Zafira NTA She doesnt want go take the dog for...

If you allowed her to "take the dog for a...

She didn't want to pay for any treatment to get...

back? Nah op and keep the vet receipts.

In some states all you need is proof of ownership...

Make sure you have the day she left the dog...

majoombu even if you have to trick her over text...

boyfriend for the dog and whilst that Reddit cliche is...

use this situation as the inspiration for your BF to...

She abandoned the dog and now is going to take...

that's what's going to be happen if he takes the...

The original poster (OP) took significant financial and emotional responsibility for an aging dog after it was abandoned by the ex-partner, Tina. The central conflict arises because the boyfriend (Bob) struggles to set firm boundaries with Tina, who uses emotional tactics, including involving her child, to regain access to the dog and maintain a connection with Bob.

Was the OP justified in enforcing the boundary against sending the dog back to the home that abandoned it, viewing it as a manipulation tactic, or did the boyfriend’s obligation to his ex-partner’s child outweigh the OP’s protective stance over the dog’s welfare?.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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