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AITA for “taking” my friend’s job after she was fired for inappropriate conduct with an employee

by Michael Lee
November 27, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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For fourteen years, a friendship stood unshaken between two women, built on trust and shared dreams. But when one took a leap of faith, leaving a steady job to join the other’s new venture, the foundation began to crack, revealing a tangled web of secret affairs, broken promises, and emotional chaos lurking beneath the surface.

As love and loyalty collided, the workplace became a battleground of volatile emotions and hidden pressures. The line between support and betrayal blurred, exposing painful truths about obsession, manipulation, and the cost of blind devotion in the name of friendship.

AITA for “taking” my friend’s job after she was fired for inappropriate conduct with an employee

I (35F) have been friends with Sarah (37F) for 14...

I took a pay cut to join her. Soon after,...

Abbie was also in a relationship with her boyfriend at...

Eventually, both Sarah and Abbie left their partners, but Abbie...

Despite this, Sarah became obsessed and emotionally volatile, repeatedly cycling...

At work, she became increasingly unstable-crying, snapping, even throwing things....

We compared notes and realized Sarah had been sending both...

Meanwhile, Sarah kept lying to me about Abbie. I distanced...

She'd told the owner months earlier that Abbie was hara*sing...

Sarah told me she left for "personal reasons" and didn't...

Recently, the owner asked me to help with the bar...

You cool with that?" "K" "You're the perfect person to...

Don't text me further please as I won't as well."...

As renowned organizational psychologist Dr. Kim Scott explains, “Radical Candor is about caring personally while challenging directly.” While the OP was initially supportive, the situation quickly escalated beyond friendship into a professionally compromising environment marked by emotional volatility and manipulation from Sarah. The OP’s initial motivation—loyalty—was subverted when Sarah involved the OP in unethical workplace conduct, such as lying about harassment.

Sarah’s behavior demonstrates a pattern of externalizing blame and emotional dysregulation, likely fueled by the stress of her complex personal entanglements and the loss of control, culminating in her firing. The OP’s decision to distance themselves was a necessary act of self-preservation and boundary setting. Abbie’s corroboration validated the OP’s perception that Sarah’s actions were manipulative, providing necessary social proof to justify withdrawal.

The OP was not an ‘asshole’ for prioritizing their professional well-being and emotional safety over maintaining a relationship strained by toxicity. The final communication from Sarah, oscillating between hollow praise and an immediate demand for separation, confirms the volatility. Moving forward, the OP should maintain the professional boundary established by Sarah’s last message. Future interactions, if any, must remain strictly professional and brief, focusing only on necessary logistical transitions regarding the bar program.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

FairyCompetent NTA and why even keep pretending to be friends...

JonathanTaylorHanson You know she's not a good person.: NTA.

It doesn't sound like she's done much to make your...

CultFire_85 It also sounds like she made her bed by...

you are not the a*shole here. You gave her loyalty,...

Her reaction isn't about you, it's her inability to accept...

DrasticM Walking away from chaos doesn't make you cruel, it...

Sarah seriously a**sed her position of authority. I hope she...

As a manager myself, I consider this kind of behavior...

Abbie sounded like she felt trapped by Sarah's actions, and...

Or better yet, never have started pursuing her in the...

Cardabella If it feels safe, block her,

but it might be better to mute read receipts and...

Honestly a folder of her shenanigans in the office might...

Neither-Train-5937 Who told her you're picking up bar responsibilities?: NTA....

She's toxic, and you don't need that. Also,

unless Sarah made up some new type of c**ktails (highly...

BigBayesian This is why many people counsel not mixing work...

But she doesn't own your relationship with your employer -...

provided your services). What you owe your friend is the...

your discretion when others ask for the truth about her...

and your earnest work at the job she recruited you...

only that you owe her working the job earnestly while...

It would seem that accepting greater responsibilities brings honor to...

and look - you're the go-to person in this new...

But that doesn't mean you have to quit your job...

NTA

The original poster (OP) made significant career sacrifices to support a long-term friend, only to become entangled in that friend’s tumultuous and ethically questionable relationship issues. After witnessing increasingly erratic and manipulative behavior from the friend, the OP distanced themselves, leading to the friend’s professional downfall. The final conflict arises when the OP accepts a professional opportunity that touches upon the friend’s former domain, prompting a final, abrupt rejection from the friend.

The central question is whether the OP, after stepping away from a toxic situation, is obligated to manage their friend’s feelings regarding professional progress, or if the friend’s reaction is an extension of their own unresolved instability. Is the OP justified in pursuing their career path without further emotional appeasement to a former friend who behaved manipulatively?

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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