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AITA for cutting off my sister after she didn’t uphold her side of a deal

by Jane Smith
December 16, 2025
in Aita, Family
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In a world where trust is the fragile thread holding dreams together, an 18-year-old sister clung to a promise that shimmered like a beacon in her darkest moments. With every sleepless night and sacrificed meal, she poured her heart into exams, fueled by the hope that her older sister’s support would turn her hard work into a future she could believe in.

But hope can be a cruel companion. When silence replaced encouragement and the promise dissolved into nothing, the weight of betrayal crushed the fragile bond between them, leaving dreams shattered and a young woman grappling with the harsh reality that sometimes, those we rely on most can let us fall.

AITA for cutting off my sister after she didn’t uphold her side of a deal

I (18F) made an agreement with my older sister (23F)...

as in truly gave it my best and worked hard,...

She knew how stressed I was and offered it as...

I skipped meals, lost sleep, took extra tutoring sessions, and...

The whole time, I kept telling myself that it would...

She never asked how they went or talked about anything...

She told me that she wasn't going to help anymore,...

She didn't tell me because she didn't want me to...

I did all of this partly for myself, but a...

She let me believe in something that wasn't real and...

I don't want to be around my family either because...

" But university is insanely expensive and I genuinely don't...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” While this quote often applies to self-protection, in this situation, the sister’s actions represent a profound violation of a relational boundary—a clear agreement that dictated the terms of support based on the OP’s demonstrated effort.

The sister’s motivation, stated as preventing the OP from ‘losing motivation,’ is a form of paternalistic control that ultimately backfired and caused significant emotional damage. By withholding crucial information about the promise being rescinded during the OP’s peak study time, the sister prioritized managing the OP’s immediate study habits over maintaining honesty and integrity in their relationship. This behavior establishes a dynamic where commitments are conditional and subject to unilateral change without the other party’s knowledge, which erodes foundational trust.

The OP’s reaction of feeling crushed and withdrawing is an entirely appropriate emotional response to betrayal and the sudden loss of expected support. However, completely cutting ties might prevent necessary communication regarding future financial planning. The constructive recommendation is for the OP to clearly communicate the specific emotional damage caused by the deception, separate from the financial need, and establish firm, non-negotiable expectations for honesty in any future agreements with the sister.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

_FallenFlower_ Nta,

Lucky-Effective-1564 I couldn't even imagine if my sister did that...

Stop talking to her - if she asks, say you...

Secure_Radio3324 NTA,

your sister had the option to shut up but decided...

Zanke95 Nta. Keep no contact. Did she even apologize?

Cybermagetx Updateme: Tell the family she lied to you aboit...

You dont move on and real family dont lie like...

Being the b***er person helps everyone but the victim and...

AdAccomplished6870 Your family and relatives are going to tell you...

sister doesn't owe you help. She doesn't, but that isn't...

You don't have to stay no contact, but treat her...

Never ask her for help, never share your thoughts and...

If you are ever asked why, simply say, I understand...

Close relationships require trust, and she has lost mine, I...

She feels justified in what she did, and that is...

t-mckeldin so it is best I just keep my distance...

I mean, you have every reason to be disappointed and...

The original poster (OP) is experiencing deep betrayal and hurt because their older sister revoked a significant financial agreement made to motivate the OP’s academic performance, even hiding this change during the critical exam period. This action directly conflicts with the OP’s belief in their sister’s support and has jeopardized their ability to attend university.

Is the OP justified in withdrawing from contact due to this severe breach of trust, or are they overreacting as family suggests, especially given the financial implications of the broken promise?

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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