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AITA for ‘ruining’ a babyshower by being a lesbian?

by Emily Davis
December 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a room filled with supposed love and celebration, a young girl’s truth was met with cold rejection and veiled hostility. What should have been a joyful gathering to honor new life instead became a battleground for acceptance, where her identity was challenged and invalidated by the very family she hoped would embrace her.

Surrounded by whispers and disapproving stares, she faced the painful reality that honesty about who she is could fracture the fragile threads of family ties. The weight of unspoken condemnation pressed heavily on her heart, turning a simple baby shower into a profound moment of isolation and courage.

AITA for ‘ruining’ a babyshower by being a lesbian?

About two weeks ago, I (17f), my mom and my...

Important info, my mom's side of the family are mostly...

After the supper and before the baby's gender was revealed,...

At one point he told me that I should move...

I told him no thanks, I'm happy with my girlfriend...

Less than 30 minutes later, I had a bunch of...

to the point where most of the people there (around...

My mom and nan are disappointed, saying I shouldn't have...

They told me that the parents to be were upset...

my girlfriend said that I wasn't an a*shole, but that...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

The situation highlights a significant conflict between personal authenticity and the demands of a conservative religious community, particularly within the context of the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith, which holds specific doctrines regarding sexuality. The OP, being publicly out, acted consistently with their established identity when directly confronted with judgment. The older man’s comment, followed by the mass confrontation, indicates that the OP’s truth was perceived as a violation of the social order expected at the baby shower. The family’s reaction—stating the OP should have “kept my secret a secret”—shows a prioritization of perceived community harmony and adherence to doctrine over supporting the OP’s well-being and self-acceptance. This reaction effectively enforces a conditional acceptance based on conformity.

While the OP did not intend to derail the event, their response was a natural reaction to direct hostility regarding their identity. The girlfriend’s advice to ‘bite my tongue’ reflects a common strategy of self-preservation in hostile environments, though it can feel invalidating. Professionally, the OP’s decision to state their truth when directly challenged was appropriate for maintaining personal integrity. Moving forward, the OP should focus on establishing firm boundaries with family members regarding discussions of their sexuality, asserting that while they respect their family’s beliefs, they will not tolerate being publicly condemned for who they are.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

LadyNael NTA but leave your family in the dust the...

This is what they're like, and what they will continue...

Let. Them. Do. This. You have every right to live...

If anything it was that creepy man spreading information that...

He could have simply moved on but instead chose to...

Scouthawkk ): Why exactly did your Nan think it was...

religious gathering? Was she hoping you would mention your gf...

16 is a common age for these cults to start...

Your Nan had to know it was possible if not...

Don't go to anymore group events with cult members.

PifftheCat NTA The creepy elder hitting on you trying suss...

being his new 'toy' IS the problem.

He wanted what wasn't in any way his to have...

Plain and simple. I agree that for your safety around...

UsualHour1463 NTA You're not an AH but you did set...

Being 17, you are still building your social tools.

As you get older you'll learn to read a room...

Did that man NEED that info- loaded response from you?...

You just needed to politely nod and move across the...

As a JW Its not in his programming to give...

Im sorry that being in a room full of JW's...

Allaboutbird Obviously NTA.

You weren't obligated to play along when some man you...

Joe-Eye-McElmury It doesn't sound like you were trying to "ruin"...

Your Nan knows that you are out as a lesbian,...

Otherwise, these people need to realize that q**er people exist....

revengeofthebiscuit NTA.

You didn't make anything about you by mentioning your s*xuality...

The original poster (OP) is experiencing distress because their honesty about their sexual orientation led to a public confrontation and subsequent disapproval from their mother and grandmother. The central conflict lies between the OP’s right to live authentically as an out lesbian and the family’s expectation that they suppress this identity to maintain religious harmony and avoid disrupting social events.

Should an individual prioritize their personal truth and public identity when facing disapproval within a strict religious setting, or is it sometimes necessary to temporarily conceal that identity to maintain peace and respect established social boundaries during family gatherings?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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