For over five years, she dreamed of building a family with the man she loved, believing they shared the same vision of love, trust, and commitment. When they finally succeeded in creating new life together, she held onto hope that their bond would only grow stronger, a foundation worthy of the child they longed for.
But betrayal cut deeply through that hope, shattering the trust she thought was unbreakable. In the fragile early days of pregnancy, he reached out to another woman, ignoring the promise they made to each other and the life they were creating. Now, she faces the painful truth that love alone may not be enough to protect her or their unborn child from a future of broken promises.
AITAH for aborting my baby after seeing my boyfriend messaging other women and interacting with them on social media?
As renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman explains, “The single most important thing in a successful relationship is trust. When trust is broken, it is incredibly difficult to rebuild, especially when the betrayal occurs during a major life transition like pregnancy.”
The core issue here involves a catastrophic violation of foundational trust within a pre-parenthood agreement. The OP explicitly set a boundary: commitment to a stable two-parent household was a prerequisite for conception, driven by a deep, understandable desire to protect her future child from past trauma. The boyfriend’s actions—flirting and exchanging numbers while the OP was unknowingly pregnant—demonstrate a significant failure in commitment, impulse control, and respect for their shared goal. This behavior suggests a possible pattern of prioritizing immediate gratification over long-term commitment, which is a severe indicator of future instability.
From an ethical and psychological standpoint, the OP’s hesitation to proceed is highly rational. Entering parenthood already dealing with a major trust violation creates an unstable emotional environment for both partners and the developing child. While breaking up during pregnancy is painful, staying based on the hope that he will change introduces significant risk regarding the stability she desperately seeks to avoid replicating. A constructive recommendation is for the OP to prioritize her and her child’s long-term stability over short-term familial pressure. Consulting a therapist individually can help clarify the path forward, whether that involves separation or establishing extremely rigorous, measurable steps for rebuilding trust, although the latter is often extremely difficult post-conception infidelity.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.
The original poster is experiencing intense emotional conflict after discovering her boyfriend’s infidelity while they were actively trying to conceive, leading to her current pregnancy. Her firm commitment to providing a stable, two-parent home, based on her own difficult past, is now directly challenged by her partner’s breach of trust precisely at the moment they were achieving their shared goal of starting a family.
Given the established pattern of behavior and the timing of the betrayal during conception, is the original poster justified in ending the relationship and considering abortion to uphold her commitment to raising the child in a stable, two-parent environment, or does the history of the relationship warrant a second chance despite this severe breach of faith?
