Betrayal cut deeper than words when he discovered the truth behind the woman he loved and the family he trusted. Three years of love shattered in an instant by a secret no one was prepared for—his own father was the man who had broken his heart and created a new life with the woman he once called his own.
The weight of the revelation crushed him, leaving him reeling between anger, disbelief, and the raw pain of a fractured family. As his father sought help and connection, the son faced an impossible choice: to embrace a future twisted by betrayal or to walk away from the shattered pieces of his past.
AITAH for refusing to help my dad raise the baby he had with my ex
As renowned relationship expert Dr. Terry Real explains, “Betrayal trauma is real, and your body remembers it. You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.” This statement directly addresses the OP’s intense reaction to the revelation of their father’s affair with their former girlfriend, Rina, resulting in a new child.
The OP experienced a massive breach of trust from two primary attachment figures simultaneously: a romantic partner and a parent. This situation creates significant emotional paralysis and justifiable anger. The father’s subsequent request for financial and emotional support immediately following the confession demonstrates a profound lack of empathy and an attempt to shift the burden of managing the fallout onto the victim of the original betrayal. The OP’s immediate response—walking away and cutting contact—is a protective mechanism against further emotional injury, which is psychologically sound when dealing with such complex trauma.
The pressure from cousins suggesting the OP will regret missing out on a sibling relationship overlooks the foundational toxicity of the situation. While the child is innocent, establishing a relationship with that child requires an untenable level of interaction with the two primary betrayers. The OP’s action of asserting absolute boundaries was appropriate for self-preservation. Moving forward, the OP should focus on reinforcing these boundaries, perhaps seeking therapeutic support to process the dual betrayal, and only considering future contact when and if they feel emotionally secure enough to dictate the terms, rather than submitting to family expectations.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
The original poster (OP) is dealing with the profound betrayal of being cheated on by a long-term partner, only to discover the affair was with their own father, who is now starting a family with the ex-partner. The central conflict revolves around the OP’s decision to completely sever ties with both individuals in response to this double betrayal, contrasting with pressure from extended family members who insist the OP must maintain some form of relationship due to the existence of the new baby.
Given the extreme violation of trust and the resulting family upheaval, is the OP justified in completely cutting off all contact with their father and ex-girlfriend, or does the responsibility to a new half-sibling necessitate some level of engagement despite the emotional pain?
