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Aita for scheduling a hysterectomy?

by Emily Davis
January 2, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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At just 22, this young transgender person carries the weight of a relentless battle against PCOS and stage 3 Endometriosis, a disease that has already invaded their body and threatens to spread further. Their journey is one of quiet resilience, marked by the joy of welcoming a rainbow baby boy and the devastating pain of flares that can confine them to bed for days, a stark reminder of the invisible struggles they endure.

Faced with the reality of a radical hysterectomy to save their health, they confront not only the physical toll of the disease but also the misunderstanding and judgment from those closest to them. Their brother’s dismissive reaction reveals the painful gap between lived experience and perception, underscoring the isolation that can come with fighting a silent, chronic illness.

Aita for scheduling a hysterectomy?

I am a 22afab person that identifies as Transgender. At...

They said that the Endo was spreading into my v***nal...

I had a rainbow baby boy last October (he's almost...

I was told recently that it is starting to spread...

I mentioned this in pa*sing to my brother 20M, not...

Op- yeah I have to get a hysterectomy soon. The...

Brother- Wait, you're going to get your uterus completely removed...

Op- it's not just period pain, it's having tissue growth...

Brother- think about if (insert son's name) would want a...

(To note, my husband was in the room with me...

He has any and all his questions about the surgery...

I'm getting it done in April and that's that. After...

I left the GC,

only to get brought back into it three more times...

I muted the GC but checked it to see I...

getting a group decision before getting my hysterectomy.

According to Dr. Lori A. Miller, a specialist in gynecologic health, ‘Decisions regarding major pelvic surgery, especially hysterectomy, must be centered on the patient’s quality of life, symptom management, and documented medical necessity, not on the hypothetical desires of family members for future children.’ The patient presents clear evidence of Stage 3 endometriosis spreading to vital organs like the kidneys and bladder, a situation that necessitates surgical intervention to prevent further irreversible damage.

The core conflict here revolves around personal bodily autonomy versus perceived family expectations. The brother and extended family are engaging in emotional coercion, attempting to substitute their own desires (the possibility of future siblings for the existing child) for the patient’s documented medical reality. This behavior dismisses the patient’s lived experience of chronic, debilitating pain and ignores the fact that the patient’s spouse, the most directly affected partner, is fully supportive of the medical plan.

The patient acted appropriately in asserting the medical necessity of the procedure against familial pushback. However, when dealing with individuals who struggle to respect boundaries, a more proactive communication strategy is recommended. For the future, the patient should clearly state that while family input on personal matters is sometimes valued, major health decisions based on physician advice are non-negotiable and closed for debate, limiting discussion to only factual updates rather than seeking approval.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Finicky-phatgurl I'm so sorry you have to go through this....

Your brother is an immature idiot who doesn't understand what...

If they'd rather you be in pain for life they...

RutabagaAcceptable61 Oh f**k that. NTA. This is *your* choice, OP.

Calling endometriosis "a little period pain" is absolutely insulting. I...

because their ovary has grown stuck to their colon; every...

which I'm told feels "like someone shoving a needle in...

You're having a medically recommended procedure that will most likely...

Everyone having a problem with that is welcome to shut...

Acceptable_Cod_1103 It's major surgery and comes with its own lifelong...

That their concern is not *that*, but your future child-bearing...

A medical professional who is well aware of the implications...

lisalef that is all the justification you need.: NTA. This...

It's yours and yours alone. Not even your spouse should...

They don't have any idea what you're going through or...

How the h**l would he know? I would also ask...

Don't let anyone know the actual date because they will...

Tell your brother and all the male flying monkeys that...

subside, you're going to kick them again and repeat. And...

tell them to imagine the worst cramps ever and multiply...

Or get one of those cramp simulators and crank that...

Joubachi >Brother- Wait, you're going to get your uterus completely...

Sorry but he is so incredibly dense and s***st/ignorant, that...

>Brother- think about if (insert son's name) would want a...

Think about (insert my husband's name) and if he wants...

CakePhool Either way - NTA and stop listening to people...

Ask the people if they got cancer if they would...

Because endro behaves like cancer but is not cancer, it...

OpportunityMother104 NTA and nasty of him to think of his...

The individual in this situation is facing a serious medical necessity for a hysterectomy due to advanced endometriosis, yet they are met with strong, unsolicited opposition and judgment from their brother and extended family regarding their personal health decisions.

Is an individual’s autonomy over their necessary medical treatment, especially concerning reproductive health, absolute, or does the desire of family members for potential future relatives outweigh the patient’s immediate and severe physical well-being?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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