Six months ago, a moment meant for trust and connection shattered into pain and confusion. She set a clear boundary, one he promised to respect, yet he crossed it without her knowledge, leaving her hurt and betrayed. His remorse came swiftly, but the damage lingered in the silence that followed—a silence heavier than any apology.
Time passed, but the wound remained unspoken, festering beneath the surface of their relationship. Only now does she find the courage to voice the truth: what happened has made intimacy a battle, a fragile space shadowed by the weight of broken trust and unanswered questions.
AITAH for finding intimacy hard after my bf took advantage of me? NSFW
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Lori Gottlieb, who often discusses trust and vulnerability in relationships, ‘Trust is built in small moments, and it is broken in moments of true carelessness or disregard for another person’s stated needs.’ This incident represents a significant breach of trust because a clear verbal boundary was ignored during a physically vulnerable moment.
The partner’s immediate reaction—playing the victim, offering apologies while simultaneously claiming he ‘didn’t realize’ he was penetrating—suggests a pattern of minimizing responsibility or an inability to truly process the severity of violating consent. While genuine mistakes can happen, the failure to stop immediately upon realizing pain, or the inability to remember an action performed during intimacy, raises questions about attentiveness and respect for the partner’s autonomy. The OP’s initial acceptance of the excuse, motivated by avoiding drama, placed temporary peace over necessary confrontation, allowing the unresolved trauma to fester.
The OP’s current feelings—that intimacy feels ‘wrong and dirty’—are a normal, valid response to having physical boundaries crossed without consent. It is not ‘shitty’ to refrain from intimacy; this is a protective emotional response. For future interactions, the OP needs to move past the ‘drama avoidance’ strategy. A constructive recommendation is to engage in couples counseling to address the trauma directly, focusing on rebuilding safety through structured communication, rather than allowing the issue to remain unspoken or superficially forgiven.
HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.
The person in this situation is clearly struggling with the lasting emotional impact of a physical boundary violation that occurred six months prior. The central conflict lies between their internal feeling that they were taken advantage of and the decision to initially forgive the partner to avoid drama, which has now resulted in sustained difficulty with intimacy.
Should the person believe the incident was a genuine mistake versus a deliberate act of taking advantage, and is it justified to continue avoiding intimacy when the partner claims understanding but the emotional damage remains significant?
