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Wibtah if I got an abortion knowing my husband would want to keep the baby?

by Alex Johnson
January 2, 2026
in Aita, Relationships, WIBTA
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In the quiet turmoil of unexpected news, a woman stands at a crossroads, her heart heavy with the weight of life’s fragile complexities. Pregnant and hopeful, she grapples with the shadows cast by recent losses and ongoing struggles that surround her family, uncertain if bringing new life into this storm will bring joy or deepen the ache.

Caught between love for the unborn and compassion for the pain already endured, she wrestles with a decision that could change everything. Her silence hides a world of fear and sacrifice, as she wonders if choosing to let go might be the kindest act in a world already fractured by grief.

Wibtah if I got an abortion knowing my husband would want to keep the baby?

So I'm 32f and my husband is 36m we have...

I would to keep this child and raise it but...

her mother died earlier this year and she's still not...

changes, and then his mother has been having health issues...

I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet as i know...

but I'm really think about abortion because I wouldn't want...

stress, so wibtah if I did get an abortion?

According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, a renowned clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, “Boundaries are not about keeping other people out; they are about what you will and will not do for other people.” In this situation, the narrator is struggling with setting internal boundaries regarding her own reproductive choices versus external expectations driven by the perceived emotional needs of her husband and stepdaughter.

The narrator is exhibiting high levels of empathy and potentially engaging in anticipatory emotional labor, attempting to manage her husband’s future stress and protect her stepdaughter from further grief before any open discussion has occurred. The stepdaughter, having recently lost her mother, is indeed in a highly vulnerable state, and introducing a major life change like a new sibling requires careful, sensitive navigation. However, withholding this significant medical information from the husband prevents him from participating in a joint decision, creating an imbalance of power and responsibility.

The decision itself carries profound ethical weight, regardless of the choice made. The narrator’s actions, while motivated by care, are currently unilateral. Professionally, the immediate recommendation is to cease consideration of unilateral action (like abortion) and immediately open a non-judgmental, crisis-aware dialogue with her husband. They must jointly assess their current support systems, agree on a timeline for decision-making, and consider therapy for the stepdaughter before making any final choices regarding the pregnancy.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

VII_187 You need to sit down and have an open...

ChanceAd3606 NTA for getting an abortion, but your husband deserves...

atmasabr I'm voting YWBTA on this one.

National-Fly-7289 So you want to k**l your baby in order...

Turbulent_Ebb5669 The worst mother in the world. Yes, ywbta: seriously...

You are aware that people over 20 live lives, deal...

SunnyLittleFuexle But you're special.: NTA for wanting an abortion.

But I wouldn't recommend to hide it from your spouse....

Also it seems like you are thinking about everyone. But...

Also your MIL might be over the moon to get...

I think you need to talk to your husband.

Emotional-Cat-6831 I am not against abortions but d**n yall be...

Death and grief, it is all apart of life. I...

cant deal with the consequences of s*x during this hard...

Than everything you mentioned sounds like it is more detrimental...

hard time and he still wants the baby. Sounds like...

Who knows this baby probably can help heal him. but,...

You did not have s*x alone, you wouldn't want to...

The narrator is facing an immense personal conflict, wanting to keep the pregnancy while recognizing the severe emotional strain currently on her stepdaughter and her husband due to recent family trauma and illness. Her desire to protect her stepdaughter from further change clashes directly with her own wishes regarding the pregnancy.

Given the high emotional stakes and the competing needs of the existing family structure versus the desire for a new child, the core debate is whether prioritizing the stability of a grieving child and a stressed spouse justifies terminating a pregnancy, or if the couple should proceed with the pregnancy and attempt to manage the added complexities immediately?

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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