WIBTA if I locked my roomate out all night because he refuses to get a new key to the apartment?

She thought living together would be a new chapter, a shared space where love could grow, but the reality shattered her expectations. Bound by broken keys and unspoken anxieties, their relationship crumbled into a fragile coexistence, where distance grew despite walls shared.

Every night, the locked doors became a symbol of more than safety—they were a barrier between two people who once dreamed together but now struggled to face their own fears. In the silence of their apartment, responsibility and fear danced, leaving her to navigate a life where trust was as broken as the key he never replaced.

WIBTA if I locked my roomate out all night because he refuses to get a new key to the apartment?

As cited by relationship experts like Dr. Terri Apter, individuals struggling with setting boundaries often fall into patterns of ‘people-pleasing’ or avoiding conflict to maintain superficial peace. This situation clearly demonstrates a struggle with assertiveness, where the poster (OP) has enabled the ex-roommate’s avoidance behavior by repeatedly compensating for his inaction.

The ex-roommate’s anxiety regarding phone calls or emails is a behavioral pattern that, while potentially genuine, is being used to avoid a very low-stakes responsibility (contacting the rental company). Because OP has historically taken on this ’emotional labor’ and administrative burden, the ex-roommate has no incentive to change. OP’s current strategy—locking him out—is an attempt to impose natural consequences, which is a necessary step in establishing boundaries in shared living situations.

OP’s hesitation shows a classic difficulty in transitioning from a caretaker role to an equal boundary-setter. While causing intentional discomfort (locking him out overnight) is extreme, it stems from legitimate needs for security and equity. A more constructive initial approach would be to set a firm, documented deadline (e.g., 48 hours) for him to contact the company, stating clearly that after that time, OP will no longer intervene or provide entry without adequate notice. This respects the boundary without resorting to punitive measures that disrupt sleep.

AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

He should not be living on his own if he can’t make a stupid phone call to get a new key. That level of anxiety is debilitating, and he has no business being on his own.

The individual feels overwhelmed by the responsibility of managing household access due to the ex-roommate’s consistent avoidance of a simple administrative task. The central conflict lies between the poster’s need for security and boundaries versus the ex-roommate’s reliance on the poster to manage his obligations, despite their relationship status.

Is it justifiable to enforce a consequence, such as leaving him locked out, to force the ex-roommate to address a necessary household responsibility, or does this action cross the line into punitive behavior that damages the necessary cohabitation arrangement?