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AITA (31F) for recording my daughter when she was crying and sending it to her father (31M)

by Jane Smith
January 20, 2026
in Aita, Family
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Beneath the fragile smiles of their two young daughters, a silent storm rages—a mother’s heart breaking as she grapples with the betrayal that has shattered nine years of trust. The father’s absence, heavy and palpable, leaves an aching void in the home, where a little girl’s innocent belief that her dad’s coldness is her fault cuts deeper than any wound.

In the quiet moments, the mother fights to shield her children from the harsh truth, weaving reassurances like fragile lifelines. Yet, the pain lingers in their eyes and tears, a heartbreaking testament to the fractured family struggling to hold on to love amid the wreckage of broken promises.

AITA (31F) for recording my daughter when she was crying and sending it to her father (31M)

A month ago, I discovered my partner of nine years,...

Since I confronted him, he has become hostile, rarely comes...

Our eldest daughter is struggling, frequently believing her father is...

I consistently rea*sure our children that the situation is not...

Tonight, after he became angry and left for his new...

I recorded about 20 seconds of her crying to document...

He reacted with extreme anger, calling me names and claiming...

I am exhausted and overwhelmed, relying on medication and crisis...

I feel I am being punished for telling the truth...

Although I deleted the recording immediately because I don't want...

As stated by Dr. Harriet Lerner, a renowned psychologist specializing in relationships, “When one person in a relationship insists on denying reality, the other person is often left feeling crazy, unseen, and desperate to prove what is plainly obvious.” This situation perfectly illustrates the concept of gaslighting, where the cheating partner not only engaged in infidelity but now attempts to control the narrative by labeling the poster a liar and emotionally unstable, thereby shifting blame for the family crisis onto her.

The poster’s primary motivation for recording her daughter appears to be establishing a factual record to counter her partner’s persistent denial regarding the emotional damage he is causing. While recording a minor during distress raises significant ethical concerns about privacy and emotional safety, the context suggests this was a desperate, last-resort communication strategy against an actively uncooperative and abusive party. Her actions are understandable as a reaction to profound abandonment and psychological invalidation.

The partner’s reaction—calling the poster names and refusing to acknowledge the children’s pain—demonstrates a severe lack of accountability. Future interactions should focus on establishing firm boundaries regarding communication, potentially involving legal or therapeutic mediation, rather than attempting to use raw emotional evidence against someone committed to denial. The priority must shift from proving the partner wrong to securing emotional and physical safety for herself and her children.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

Phoenyx634 I grew up seeing my parents fighting terribly and...

And my mother would only ever rant and rave about...

It was a very upsetting childhood and to be honest...

The sooner you can drop all expectations of him, accept...

I think the traumatic separation has happened, of course everyone...

Be honest with your kids when they ask with facts...

Tell them that it is out of your control, but...

Don't make promises that things might improve or that maybe...

Don't say either "he's unlikely to come back" or that...

Stick to only facts, and when the kids are older,...

It is also a fact that you are grieving the...

It feels better now that we've cried, right?" Then you...

That's what I wish my mother had done. While things...

What will your ex have? A strained relationship with the...

He will miss out on knowing your kids and being...

He doesn't know or understand the gravity of what he...

I don't feel angry at my father for leaving anymore...

Your kids will also recover from this and be 100%...

SupportStandard6918 While I don't agree with what you did I...

This is not healthy for either you or the kids,...

Sadly that video can be used against you in ways...

lura66 This is a hard one NTA overall though. Yeah...

First, he obviously can't handle the guilt of abandoning you...

You have kiddos to look after and at this point...

Turbulent_Sir_1018 YTA. You should not be using your child as...

You couldn't have been fully committed to consoling her if...

Time-Tie-231 Very sorry you and your daughters are going through...

While this is all so very painful, it sounds like...

He has shown you and is showing you who he...

Physical-Glove-8474 NTA - He's mad because he's guilty. It's much...

I would download a coparenting app and use that for...

If you're on the phone and he starts to speak...

I think you should start doing things to protect yourself...

Ill**triousBowler259 I get what you think you were doing, but...

I can only imagine how difficult this all is for...

The poster is experiencing severe emotional distress and isolation after discovering her partner’s infidelity. She is struggling to manage the family’s well-being and protect her children from the fallout, while her partner actively denies responsibility and resorts to verbal abuse when confronted with the impact of his choices.

Given the extreme emotional strain and the damaging effect of the separation on the children, the core debate centers on whether the mother’s decision to record her daughter’s vulnerable moment was a necessary act to prove reality to a denialist partner, or an unethical exploitation of a child’s distress for the sake of validation.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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