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Father Refuses To Pay For His Daughter’s Dream School But Is Paying For His Son’s Since It’s A Better Investment

by Charlie Brown
March 13, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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A father’s unwavering love and sacrifice shine through his determination to give his children the future they deserve. Despite the burden of full custody and no support, he stands as a pillar of strength, investing everything he has to ensure his son Jake can chase his dreams without the shadow of debt, and his daughter Nikki can flourish in her final year of high school.

This is a story of hope and resilience, where the weight of financial strain is outweighed by the promise of opportunity. It’s a testament to a parent’s courage to shoulder immense responsibility, fueled by the belief that hard work and dedication will carve a path to a brighter tomorrow for his children.

AITA for telling my daughter she can’t go to her dream school but paying for my son to go to his?

I'm 49m and I have 2 children, Jake (23) and...

Jake got into his dream school but didn't get any...

I didn't want him to take out loans and have...

He's following in our family tradition and pursuing a career...

While I know it will be costly, I view this...

If he decides to become an oral surgeon, his starting...

Like her brother, she's a good student and will have...

Her dream school is also a very good one located...

The problem is that she's dreamt of being a teacher...

The other problem is that the salary for middle school...

I fully realize that she can move and work elsewhere...

I don't view paying $300,000+ for a career that tops...

I told my daughter that the state school that's 2...

I view paying $80,000 for a teaching degree as a...

She cries and accuses me of favoring Jake and being...

I told her if she picks a major with a...

Now she's got family members involved. Some are staying out...

I'm not limiting Nikki's education to $20,000 a year. I...

I'm more than happy to pay $75,000 a year if...

For a while she thought about being a doctor and...

But she's adamant about being a middle school teacher and...

Oxford is hard to get into, I know that she...

I meant for her to apply and if she got...

I brought it up because getting into dental schools and...

The dentists and oral surgeons in the family happily tutor...

People who pursued the dental career in our family have...

Last semester my brother spent weeks tutoring our niece to...

According to Dr. Terri Givens, a noted expert on higher education funding and policy, parental financial support often carries implicit expectations regarding the field of study, especially when significant sums are involved. Givens notes that while parental support is often unconditional in theory, the reality of funding high-cost education inherently links the investment to perceived future return.

The core dynamic here involves the conflict between parental autonomy and the young adult’s developing autonomy, complicated by financial leverage. The father views his expenditure as a calculated investment based on earning potential, a practical stance rooted in securing his children’s long-term financial health—a principle reinforced by his family’s established tradition in dentistry. However, by comparing the $50,000/year dentistry track favorably against the $75,000/year teaching track, he introduces financial conditionalities that Nikki perceives as inequitable treatment and a dismissal of her vocational calling. Her reaction—crying and accusing him of sexism or favoritism—suggests that she interprets his actions not as financial planning, but as a devaluation of her chosen career and, by extension, her personal values.

The father’s offer to pay the full cost for any high-earning degree, including Oxford, confirms his concern is about the return on investment for the $75,000/year choice, not simply limiting her budget to $20,000 across the board. While his financial logic is sound from a purely economic standpoint, his communication style has created an emotional deadlock. A more constructive approach would involve acknowledging the value of teaching while exploring financial compromises, such as agreeing to fund the dream school if Nikki secures substantial external scholarships or agreeing to a middle-ground state school with a proven, strong education program, rather than framing the choice as an ultimatum between teaching and full funding.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

GrammaIsAW**re YTA. This whole post reeks of favoritism. I hope...

[deleted] YTA. To be fair, you should at least pay...

TermAggravating8043 YTA

You are clearly favouriting your son here, he’s following the family traditions and your happy to take on a load of debt for him but you won’t do the same for your daughter because her career choice is a “problem”

You’ll only take on debt for your child if they do the careers YOU want them to do. Go back to your daughter before you lose her

fullstar2020 You should feel bad...

You're paying fully for the child who will make enough...

Dependent-Aside-9750 NTA. Former teacher here. Nikki needs to face reality...

ishitintrashcans I don't understand how everyone is calling him TA...

czndra67 nta. If more people thought as clearly about cost...

How many people pay top dollar for a degree that...

That debt delays marriage, having children, and may rule home...

For the rest of us, your degree should lead to...

We sat our kids down and told them we would...

Know how much more a teacher that graduates from an...

The father is facing significant conflict as he attempts to balance his financial prudence and desire for his children’s financial stability against his daughter’s strong aspirations for a career in teaching. His willingness to fully fund his son’s expensive dental path contrasts sharply with his insistence on limiting funding for his daughter’s chosen, lower-earning field, causing her distress and drawing family criticism.

Is the father justified in using his financial resources to steer his daughter toward a more lucrative career path, even if it means denying her dream school for her desired major, or is his obligation to support her educational choice, regardless of potential future earnings?

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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