A childhood shadowed by quiet deceit, where a mother’s love was tangled with secrecy and control. Every gift from a caring aunt was swallowed by silent greed, leaving a child to wonder why kindness was hidden behind closed hands and veiled excuses. The innocence of celebration was masked by a relentless need to survive, as hope was quietly siphoned away.
Yet within this darkness, a flicker of defiance burned bright. A young artist’s determination to save for a dream, scraping together every dollar earned from charcoal sketches, only to face the harsh demand to surrender it all. But a teacher’s faith became a beacon, offering a chance to break free and paint a future beyond the shadows.
My Entitled Parent took ALL of my money for Two Decades!
According to Dr. Karyl McBride, an expert in narcissistic family systems, the behavior described—controlling a child’s assets, using guilt, and demanding resources—is a common tactic used by parents to maintain power and emotional control over their children. The mother’s appropriation of birthday and holiday money, followed by taking the student’s savings earned from sketching, establishes a clear pattern of financial abuse and boundary violation.
The motivation here appears twofold: establishing complete financial dominance and redirecting resources for the mother’s own needs or perceived needs, regardless of the child’s stated goals (like saving for college). The initial deception regarding the aunt’s gifts sets the stage for the later, more explicit demands. The fact that the individual ultimately handed over the remaining cash and even an ambulance bill suggests a deeply ingrained compliance and fear of confrontation, prioritizing appeasement over self-advocacy.
The individual’s desire to spend the $465 on the painting course, and then using their remaining funds to treat peers, shows an attempt to reclaim agency and experience normal peer spending habits. While the final handover of cash and the fabricated ambulance bill highlights continued compliance, future steps should focus on establishing firm, non-negotiable boundaries regarding earned income. A constructive approach would involve communicating clearly that future earnings are for the individual’s educational or personal goals, and seeking external support if the parent continues to exert financial coercion.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
Umm, I paid my own part of that insurance premium.
The individual experienced a consistent pattern of financial control and lack of transparency regarding gifts intended for them from childhood onward. This created a conflict where the person’s earned money and received gifts were immediately claimed by the parent under the guise of necessity, leading to a significant breach of trust.
Is it justifiable for a parent to claim money given to a child for personal use or savings, even when the stated reason involves family financial need, or does this action fundamentally violate the child’s right to autonomy and their own earned property?
