At just 23, she has mastered the art of uncovering hidden treasures, transforming forgotten estate sales into a trove of vintage designer goods that whisper stories of elegance and history. Each find is more than just a purchase; it’s a connection to the past, a secret gem that she cherishes and protects, waiting for the perfect moment to shine in her future home.
Her passion isn’t just about collecting; it’s about preserving beauty and value that others overlook. When a simple $40 vase catches the eye of a seasoned collector, it’s a powerful reminder that sometimes, the most extraordinary things are hiding in plain sight, waiting for someone with the right eye to bring them back to life.
AITA for asking my boyfriend to send me the appraised price for the vase his son broke when I got it for much cheaper?
According to relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of ‘The Dance of Anger,’ unresolved conflicts often stem from differing views on fairness and control within a partnership. In this scenario, the conflict centers on the difference between the item’s perceived ‘value’ (the $40 cost) and its ‘replacement cost’ or ‘inherent worth’ ($3,500 appraisal).
The boyfriend’s reaction—offering the purchase price—stems from a transactional view of reimbursement, prioritizing the OP’s initial outlay. The OP’s insistence on the appraised value is rooted in the principle of restitution for the loss of a unique asset, regardless of the acquisition story. While the boyfriend’s reaction suggests he views the OP as being punitive or greedy (calling her an ‘asshole’), the OP is valuing the asset based on its authenticated market reality. However, involving a ten-year-old child who was supervised adds complexity; while the child is at fault for breaking it, the father often assumes financial responsibility for minor accidents caused by his child, sometimes leading to negotiation over the extent of that liability.
The OP’s action of demanding the full appraised amount, while understandable from an asset-loss perspective, escalated the situation by prioritizing the principle over maintaining relational harmony, especially given the boyfriend’s high income. Moving forward, for accidental damage caused by a partner’s child, a constructive approach would be to seek a mutually agreed-upon middle ground that acknowledges both the actual monetary loss to the OP’s collection equity and the burden placed on the parent, perhaps splitting the difference or agreeing on a figure below the appraisal but significantly higher than the initial cost.
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His son broke it. It doesn’t matter how much it cost you initially. If you said you wanted it to be replaced or to purchase one similar it would cost you $3500.
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what sort of person expects to make grossly overinflated profit from their partner, because that is what we are talking about. an appraisal is the estimated worth if you are able to sell it. your partner should reconsider his relationship with you, if this is how you treat them. shameful.
The original poster is deeply upset because a valuable item she acquired cheaply was broken by her boyfriend’s son, leading to a significant financial disagreement with her partner regarding the replacement cost.
Does the responsibility for replacing an unexpectedly valuable item lie in its low purchase price or its confirmed market appraisal value when it has been destroyed through negligence?
