Two years ago, he made a profound choice to walk away from the world of dating—a world where connections felt hollow and values clashed endlessly. Surrounded by stories of shattered marriages and broken families, he saw the harsh reality of love’s gamble, where trust could unravel and lives could be irreparably changed by heartbreak and loss.
Haunted by the question of why marriage seemed a risk not worth taking, he chose a different path—one of solitude and careful planning. Instead of chasing uncertain love, he turned his hopes toward a future built on his own terms, saving quietly to bring life into the world through surrogacy, seeking certainty in a world defined by uncertainty.
AITA for trying to hire a woman to be my surrogate as a single man?
Dr. Robert A. Johnson, a Jungian analyst known for his work on relationships, often emphasizes the necessity of confronting the shadow aspects of partnership—the hidden expectations and incompatibilities—rather than avoiding the entire process. In this case, the decision to use surrogacy appears to be an extreme avoidance tactic driven by fear of loss.
The core conflict here involves boundary setting versus commitment avoidance. The poster has high standards for a ‘wife material’ partner but seems unwilling to engage in the vulnerability and effort required to negotiate the inevitable imperfections of any long-term relationship. His assessment frames marriage as a ‘three-way bet’ where the potential reward (a family) is outweighed by the perceived risk (divorce and financial loss). This perspective overlooks the foundational elements of partnership, such as shared life goals, mutual emotional support, and the inherent complexity of human relationships, which cannot be outsourced. The choice to use international surrogacy, while legally available in some jurisdictions, introduces ethical considerations regarding power dynamics and the commodification of parenthood, especially when the stated primary driver is avoiding a specific negative outcome (divorce) rather than purely pursuing parenthood.
While the poster is financially capable and his desire for fatherhood is valid, his method bypasses the relational aspect of family creation entirely. A more constructive approach would involve rigorous self-examination regarding his own role in past relationship failures and potentially seeking therapy to understand the intense fear underpinning his avoidance of commitment. Future successful paths might involve redefining his criteria for partnership or engaging in honest, direct communication about his needs, rather than implementing a costly and ethically complex solution solely as a shield against potential future heartbreak.
HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.
but YTA for going out of the country for surrogacy. Many places are highly unethical and treat women like farm animals.
The individual expresses deep disillusionment with modern dating and marriage, viewing marriage as an unacceptable financial and emotional risk based on past negative experiences. His decision to pursue international surrogacy reflects a desire to secure fatherhood while completely circumventing the perceived threat of marital breakdown.
When one prioritizes risk mitigation over traditional partnership models, should society accept surrogacy as a valid pathway to family building, or does this choice inherently dismiss the value of reciprocal, committed spousal relationships?
