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AITAH for not getting an abortion?

by Emily Davis
March 15, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the quiet turmoil of a fractured relationship, a woman faces an unthinkable dilemma—pregnant against the odds, her partner’s sudden transformation casting shadows of distrust and despair. Their once stable life unravels as past traumas collide with present fears, leaving her caught between her own uncertain desires and the harsh ultimatum imposed by the man she loved.

Haunted by his previous pain and unwavering in his refusal to embrace fatherhood again, he demands a choice that threatens to sever their bond forever. In this crucible of conflicting hopes and heartbreak, she wrestles with the weight of autonomy and love, questioning if her decision to keep the child brands her as wrong or courageous in the face of overwhelming odds.

AITAH for not getting an abortion?

I (32F) was with my partner (35M) for 2 years...

He has a child from a previous relationship that he...

I'd made my stance clear that I was unsure if...

He said "never say never" and the reason he didn't...

He said he couldn't trust me or the relationship if...

Last time his ex got pregnant he actively tried to...

He never wanted kids, even before his current kid and...

That he understands my reasons for not getting an abortion...

That this child will bring me nothing but negativity. He...

I've gone no contact and haven't heard from him in...

I've seen a lot of discussion that if you get...

My mind is still confused by the whole ordeal, before...

I'd appreciate any advice or insight, Am I wrong for...

According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, forming a stable life structure involves successfully navigating key psychosocial stages, and for adults, this often includes decisions regarding partnership and reproduction. In this situation, the partner’s extreme reaction—shifting from being loving to issuing threats and attempting to coerce an abortion—suggests an acute crisis where his established life script (not wanting more children) is violently disrupted.

The partner’s actions exhibit several concerning patterns: emotional manipulation (suggesting she can ‘guilt trip’ him into compliance), leveraging past trauma (his suicide attempt regarding his ex’s pregnancy) as a threat against her present choice, and externalizing responsibility (stating his therapist and family advise abandonment). This behavior demonstrates a severe breakdown in communication and an abuse of power dynamics within the relationship. The OP’s decision to continue the pregnancy, while asserting her fundamental right to bodily autonomy, must be understood against the backdrop of potential future challenges related to co-parenting with someone exhibiting such instability and hostility.

The OP’s choice to prioritize continuing the pregnancy after experiencing trauma from a previous abortion is a powerful assertion of selfhood. However, professional guidance in such high-conflict reproductive situations often recommends establishing robust external support systems immediately. The OP was correct to go no-contact to ensure safety. Moving forward, she should focus solely on securing legal counsel regarding parental rights and establishing firm boundaries to shield herself and the future child from further emotional abuse or abandonment tactics.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

TheRoadk**lRapunzel NTA. If he actually felt this way, he should...

Sherpa_qwerty So much to unpack here. Your boyfriend sounds awful....

I think you are right to go non contact or...

Mysterious-Spite-581 >Last time his ex got pregnant he actively tried...

If you plan to go ahead with the pregnancy, please...

angelicak92 If he was so adamant against having kids, he...

If you want the baby, keep it. I personally would...

Academic-Dark2413 At the end of the day it's your decision,...

He's made it very clear he doesn't want the baby...

He's completely wrong for the way he's acting and what...

Similar_Strategy7716 NTA you had made it clear from the start...

You did well by going no contact as he seems...

Just because a pregnancy is unwanted or unplanned doesn't give...

caution-extremlyhot You are NOT wrong. It's YOUR choice. But I...

And if that is what he is telling you and...

And if he doesn't want to be a father you'll...

I personally just didn't communicate with him or take him...

So I didn't force him to do things he made...

He did also sign for her to be adopted to...

I will also say this, you can do it. But...

I learned when I observed my husband with our shared...

It will be your job to NOT speak negativity towards...

The individual is facing a profound personal and ethical crisis, choosing to continue a pregnancy despite intense pressure and threats from their partner. The central conflict lies between her bodily autonomy and deeply held personal decision regarding motherhood, and the partner’s absolute rejection, manipulation, and refusal to accept responsibility for the resulting child.

Given the partner’s explicit threats, emotional manipulation, and withdrawal of support, is the decision to proceed with the pregnancy justified solely on the basis of reproductive autonomy, even when faced with the certainty of single parenthood under hostile circumstances, or does the context of the partner’s prior stated desires and mental health crisis warrant a different ethical consideration?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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