For nine years, she has walked a path shadowed by silent torment, wrapped in the guise of a “nice guy” who meets every societal checkbox except the one that truly matters—respecting her body and soul. Amid the joys of their children and the life they built, an unspoken horror lurks, fracturing the foundation of their love with each violation.
Though he is a devoted father and partner in many ways, the darkness in their relationship is a profound betrayal that no kindness can erase. Behind the facade of love and care lies a devastating truth: she endures the pain of assault from the man she once trusted completely.
My Partner Keeps Forcing Himself On Me While I Sleep and I Just Had A Baby
As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This situation highlights a complete and dangerous breakdown of boundaries, moving beyond simple unmet needs into clear violations of physical autonomy and consent.
The partner’s behavior—repeatedly engaging in sexual acts without consent, even when explicitly told no, and violating medical post-partum advice—is a pattern of coercive control and sexual assault, regardless of his general positive attributes as a father or housemate. His cycle of apologizing, stopping briefly, and restarting indicates a lack of genuine, sustained commitment to respecting his partner’s bodily integrity. The OP’s feelings of being trapped, exhausted, and embarrassed are common reactions when abuse occurs within an established, long-term partnership, especially when children and co-owned assets are involved. Her financial independence is a significant asset, but the emotional weight of potential separation right after childbirth is understandably paralyzing.
The OP’s actions must prioritize her safety. Forgiveness in this context, when the violation is physical assault, enables the cycle to continue. A constructive first step is to establish physical space, even if separation is not immediately finalized. The OP should confidentially consult with a domestic violence resource or legal professional to understand her options regarding the children and shared finances without committing to an immediate move. Telling her parents, who are already present for support, about the boundary violation is crucial for creating a safe network.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.
“he’s a nice guy but he sexually assaults me in my sleep “
He R*PED you. This is not a nice guy. This is a selfish bully who has you so emotionally skewed he somehow gets you thinking this is not abuse. My heart is breaking for you.
Go see a doctor because that shit is dangerous three weeks postpartum – you have gaping wound in your uterus from the placenta
Then go see the cops if you want because this is **rape**.
The original poster (OP) is facing a severe crisis in her relationship due to her partner repeatedly engaging in sexual activity with her while she is asleep, despite her explicit refusals and recent medical restrictions following childbirth. Her core conflict is between her deeply violated sense of autonomy and safety and her exhaustion, desire to protect her children, and embarrassment about disclosing the situation to her supportive family.
Given that the partner has repeatedly violated consent and medical boundaries, the debate centers on whether the OP should prioritize her immediate safety and emotional well-being by leaving, despite the logistical stress of separation with a newborn and two young children, or if she should endure the pattern again, postponing critical action until a less stressful time.
