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AITA for not giving my son my car to pay off his debt?

by Jane Smith
April 20, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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For over two decades, a father’s love and struggle intertwined in a delicate balance between hope and hardship. His bond with his son was unbreakable, a beacon of light in the shadows of a fractured family, yet beneath the surface, the weight of financial strain silently gnawed at their fragile peace.

Desperation crept in like a thief in the night, forcing the father to lean on the very son he cherished most—not just for love and support, but for survival itself. Each borrowed dollar became a silent testament to sacrifice, loyalty, and the painful cost of holding a family together against all odds.

AITA for not giving my son my car to pay off his debt?

Over 20 years ago I divorced from my then wife....

At age seventeen, my son moved in with me and...

I soon jumped from workplace to workplace and asked all...

He paid for groceries here and there, then he helped...

It went well for a bunch of years. I forgot...

I asked him of course, so he knew what he...

He did the math and it summed up to around...

I told him no because I needed the car for...

He asked about my promise and the car, but I...

I got diagnosed with depression due to the situation. I...

I miss my son but until he apologizes for treating...

Dr. Susan Forward, a renowned psychologist and author of the book Toxic Parents, explains that when parents turn to their children for financial or emotional support, it creates a harmful reversal of roles known as parentification. In this case, the father relied on his son’s credit and income for years, which placed an unfair burden on the young man’s future and financial health.

The father’s behavior demonstrates a lack of healthy boundaries and a failure to protect his child’s interests. While he claims the son knew what he was getting into, this perspective ignores the inherent power dynamic between a parent and child. Children often feel a deep obligation to help their parents, making it difficult for them to say no even when the request is damaging to their own lives. The father’s refusal to surrender the car, despite a previous agreement, further breaks the trust between them and highlights a pattern of prioritizing his own needs over the debt he created.

The father’s actions were inappropriate because he exploited his son’s financial identity to cover his own mismanagement. A professional recommendation would be for the father to stop waiting for an apology and instead take full accountability for the financial harm he caused. He should seek a formal debt repayment plan and acknowledge that his son’s anger is a natural consequence of years of financial dependency.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

WalterTheHedgehog YTA

You majorly took advtange of your son and set him up to struggle in life and you should be embarrassed and ashamed for that.

I suspect your financial issues backdated his moving in and...

Celthric317 You are what prople call a textbook narcissist. YTA

IncomeAppropriate525 YTA - YTA even more for continuing to call...

brumby79 Oh hey, I had deadbeat parents just like you...

I have three sons all over 18 and if I...

mister_barfly75 YTA

>I forgot to pay my car insurance for a few months and they ended my contract. So, I created a new one with my son’s name on it. I asked him of course, as always, so he always knew what he was getting himself into.

By "what he was getting himself into" you mean "what...

Promise that you'd pay him back, promise that it was...

You expected a 17 year old kid to make financial...

He tried to help his family and got left with...

Slight-Bar-534 told him if I didn't have the money for...

Pay your kid back the money. I see why daughter...

ididntleavetoday YTA You shouldn't have taken in your son if...

The father feels deeply conflicted as he balances his need for personal stability with the heavy financial debt he owes his son. He acknowledges his past mistakes but believes his son should be more understanding of his current struggles and his need for transportation to keep his job.

Is the father justified in keeping his car to protect his livelihood even after failing to repay a large debt, or is the son right to demand the vehicle as a form of restitution for years of financial support?

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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