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AITA for telling my bf if he doesn’t propose before the end of this year I will start planning my future without him?

by Michael Lee
April 20, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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For five years, she held onto a fragile hope, nurturing a love that promised growth and a future bound by vows. Despite her heart’s quiet plead for commitment, the ring never came, and their shared child only deepened the ache of waiting for a promise that seemed to dissolve with each passing day.

He, haunted by a past heartbreak, moved at a pace that shattered her dreams, dismissing the very institution she longed for. As their anniversary loomed, the silence between them grew louder, echoing the painful truth that sometimes love’s journey is not enough to bridge the gap between two souls drifting apart.

AITA for telling my bf if he doesn’t propose before the end of this year I will start planning my future without him?

I (36f) have been with my bf (36m) for 5...

He said he was more slow paced with everything that...

We talked about this throughout the relationship, so this was...

Fast forward to now, we've been together all these years...

I brought it up earlier this year how this is...

He started telling me how he doesn't see the point...

I told him that that wasn't the point and this...

I offered we could do a different type of ceremony...

He kept making excuses and I asked him where does...

I told him if he doesn't get it together and...

He said I'm an AH for forcing him to propose...

I told him that's fine and he doesn't have to...

When we first had the talk about marriage in the...

He would bring up marriage, buying a house, etc fairly...

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, a healthy relationship requires partners to create a sense of shared meaning and support each other’s life dreams. In this case, the partner’s sudden shift from wanting marriage to calling it a ‘piece of paper’ is a significant breach of their shared vision. By changing his stance after five years and the birth of a child, he has removed the foundation of trust that the narrator relied on to build her life. This behavior is often a way to avoid the vulnerability of a permanent commitment or to maintain control by keeping the partner in a state of waiting.

The narrator’s decision to set a deadline is an act of boundary setting rather than manipulation. She is clearly communicating her needs and refusing to settle for a future that does not align with her core values. The partner’s refusal to look beyond a ‘day to day’ perspective suggests he is not fully invested in a long-term partnership. Professionally, her actions are appropriate because she is advocating for her own emotional well-being. If her partner continues to refuse, she should follow through with her plan to leave, as staying would likely lead to resentment and a lack of security.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

FrontTour1583 Nta but I would not have had a child...

z-eldapin He doesn't want to marry you. You're asking for...

peakpenguins >He said I'm an AH for forcing him to...

Why in the world would you even want to marry...

But by giving him an ultimatum, all you've done is...

That's not exactly a fairy tale marriage, is it? I...

StrongBuy3494 NTA. Don't let your boyfriend get in the way...

Comfortable_Score160 You don't want to marry someone who's only doing...

shyfidelity Why are you waiting? I don't think an ultimatum...

Historical_Paint1151 Yes girl if you have to beg a man...

The woman feels betrayed because her partner changed his mind about marriage after she invested five years and had a child with him. She views marriage as a vital symbol of their commitment, while he now dismisses it as a meaningless document.

Is it reasonable for her to set a deadline to protect her own future and life goals? Or is she wrong to pressure a partner who has clearly stated he no longer values the institution of marriage?

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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