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AITA for telling my dad that I don’t care about making him proud?

by Alex Johnson
April 20, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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A young girl, caught in the painful crossfire of her parents’ fractured relationship, grapples with feelings of rejection and longing for her father’s approval. Their rare meetings are shadowed by unspoken tensions and harsh judgments, leaving her isolated and unsure of how to bridge the growing distance between them.

Despite her efforts to meet his expectations, every attempt feels met with disappointment, driving a wedge deeper into their fragile connection. In a moment of raw honesty, she confronts the painful truth of her indifference toward his approval, exposing the emotional scars left by years of silence and misunderstanding.

AITA for telling my dad that I don’t care about making him proud?

I am a seventeen-year-old child born from an affair. My...

He told me that when I am married, I will...

He wants me to study abroad and told me to...

He said I should have tried harder to make him...

A seventeen-year-old struggles with their identity as the child of an affair. They see their father only once a month because of his wife’s rules and the father’s refusal to challenge them.

The father remains silent when his wife insults the teenager’s mother. This silence causes deep pain and makes the relationship very difficult to maintain for the child.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a specialist in family relationships, explains that children born from affairs often feel like an inconvenience to their parents’ primary families. This dynamic creates a high level of emotional stress for the child, who must navigate the father’s guilt and the stepmother’s resentment. In this case, the father’s silence during his wife’s insult is a form of emotional abandonment. The teenager’s outburst is a predictable result of feeling blamed for the father’s own insecurities regarding the affair.

The father’s focus on academic achievement in the US or UK may be an attempt to provide for the child financially without providing the necessary emotional support. By accusing the child of failing an exam on purpose, he shifts the blame for their poor relationship onto the teenager. This power dynamic is unhealthy because it places the burden of ‘making him proud’ on a child who has not been given a consistent or supportive environment by that parent.

The teenager’s decision to stop trying to please their father is a valid step toward emotional independence. It is appropriate to stop seeking approval from someone who does not offer protection or respect. A professional recommendation is for the teenager to seek support from a counselor to work through the feelings of being an affair baby. The father must learn to stand up for his child and acknowledge his own mistakes if he wants to fix the damage in their relationship.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Pillowprincess_222 NTA. I just can't imagine being that shitty of...

She probably has her reason for staying but other than...

Wonderful-Outcome-24 NTA no question. He barely cares enough to want...

You have plenty of people who care for you already...

Kind_Substance_2865 First of all, NTA. Secondly, don't go to the...

T-Chunxy NTA- (But pop & pop's wife def are)

I can understand pop’s wife’s hostility (even if it is uncool to direct at a child) but your pop has to make some hard decisions here.

Either his lives up to his responsibilities and acts like...

Dude sees you 12x/yr and thinks he can make the hard calls about your test results?!?

Maybe he could have shown up a few months prior...

CuriousMindedAA NTA, you're not here to make him proud; that's...

Yeah, he's your biological father but doesn't care to act...

avgJ0eSchmo YTA, he took care of you and this is...

meno-pause What you said was unkind. However, you're only 17....

The teenager feels a deep sense of hurt and neglect due to their father’s lack of support and his wife’s insults. They are caught in a conflict between their desire for parental validation and the reality of being treated as a secondary priority in their father’s life.

Should a child be expected to strive for the approval of a parent who does not defend them against verbal abuse? Is the father’s desire for his child to study abroad a genuine act of care or an attempt to manage his own guilt through academic control?

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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