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MIL taught my daughter that hugs mean hitting

by Jane Smith
April 20, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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From the moment they were teenagers, a silent battle brewed beneath the surface of their love story. She faced the cold disapproval of her mother-in-law, whose fierce protectiveness over her son cast long shadows over their relationship. Yet, through every whispered insult and behind-the-back slight, she held on, nurturing a fragile hope that love could overcome even the hardest hearts.

Years passed, and with marriage and motherhood came both joy and quiet tension. Choosing to keep her distance from the woman who never fully accepted her, she guarded her daughter’s innocence from the storm. But when life’s unexpected twists forced her to confront those walls, she was left grappling with the painful reality of family bonds—complex, unyielding, and deeply human.

MIL taught my daughter that hugs mean hitting

A young mother finds out her mother-in-law taught her daughter...

The parents are now cutting off all ties with the...

I started dating my husband when we were 17 and...

I avoided situations where I would be around her unless...

My husband suggested asking his mother. I agreed and she...

When I asked why she was hitting me, she said...

I told my husband and he said he was disappointed....

We are no longer going to her house. My husband...

We are contacting our lawyer and making a police report....

Dr. Susan Forward, author of ‘Toxic In-Laws,’ explains that toxic family members use manipulation to maintain control and often use grandchildren as pawns. In this case, the grandmother’s attempt to redefine hitting as ‘hugging’ is a clear example of gaslighting. She is intentionally distorting the child’s sense of reality to hide her own abusive actions and potentially frame the mother for abuse.

The grandmother’s history of hitting her own son shows that her behavior is part of a long-term cycle of abuse. By accusing the mother of hitting the child in a text message, she is using a defense mechanism called projection. This is meant to shift the blame away from herself and onto the mother to avoid legal consequences and social shame.

The mother’s decision to stop all contact and involve the police was the correct professional choice. When a child’s safety is at risk, family loyalty must be set aside for protection. My recommendation is to maintain strict no-contact through legal orders and provide the child with play therapy to help her relearn healthy physical boundaries.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

spiderqueendemon Therapist. Now. Tell the grandma nothing. No contact until...

heymomlookatme13 My mind went to she hit your daughter and...

Edit:I hate that my gut was right on this one. I hope your lo and you all find peace and healing through navigating these next steps.

Hoosierdaddy1964 My god. As a grandfather i cant even wrap...

Freezerzard This is child a**se. Report to the Police ASAP....

KeeperofAmmut7 There's only a couple of reasons that MIL did...

Either way it's horrible and evil for MIL to have...

thatonewiththedreams Ask your child if Grandma "hugs" her.

I know a lot of people are leaning into your...

Scrubsandbones This is central. I'd be worried she hit your...

The mother is in a state of shock and anger after discovering her child was being manipulated by a relative. She is torn between her past attempts to maintain a family relationship and her immediate need to protect her daughter from physical and emotional harm.

Is it possible to forgive a family member who teaches a child that violence is a form of love, or is a permanent separation the only ethical choice for a parent? The debate centers on whether family ties should be maintained at all costs or if the safety of the child must always come before kinship.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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