A mother faces a difficult choice when her family demands to bring a contagious child into her home for the holidays.
Protecting her children from a painful illness conflicts directly with her family’s desire to gather without taking responsibility for sanitation.
Sick family wants to have Thanksgiving at my house and I said no
As clinical psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner explains in ‘The Dance of Connection,’ ‘Boundaries are not a way to punish or control others, but a way to take responsibility for our own well-being.’
The situation highlights a clear conflict regarding physical boundaries and health safety. The author is prioritizing the health of her children, while her family is prioritizing their social convenience. The family’s expectation that the author should host contagious individuals, while refusing to sanitize their own space, indicates an issue with accountability and empathy. The mother’s emotional reaction, including crying and ending the conversation, serves as a defensive tactic to avoid addressing the validity of the author’s concerns.
The author’s actions are appropriate given the documented health risks of Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease. Maintaining a hard boundary is necessary when health is at risk. For future situations, the author should focus on calm, assertive communication that emphasizes the medical necessity of the boundary rather than labeling the family as selfish, which may reduce defensive reactions and keep the focus on the safety of the children.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.
NTA
Gloves won’t help. Stay safe and say NO.
The author feels protective of her children’s health and frustrated by the disregard shown by her family. She believes it is unfair to prioritize the convenience of the sick guests over the physical safety of her own household.
Is the author justified in banning her contagious relatives to prevent illness, or is she being unreasonable by refusing to accommodate her family’s request for a holiday gathering?
