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AITA for telling my Ex her depression does not excuse her from neglecting her adult responsibilities and calling her a terrible mother?

by Ankit
August 22, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the tangled web of co-parenting, one father faces the harsh reality of sharing custody with his ex-wife, whose battles with anxiety and depression have turned into barriers not only for herself but for their two daughters. What was once a partnership now feels like a constant struggle against excuses and emotional distance, leaving the children caught in the crossfire of a fractured family dynamic.

As the girls reach out in confusion and hurt, the father’s frustration grows his ex’s unpredictable behavior casting shadows over their lives and stealing precious moments meant for connection. When anxiety and depression become convenient shields rather than genuine struggles, the innocent voices of his daughters cry out for stability and understanding in a world that feels increasingly uncertain.

AITA for telling my Ex her depression does not excuse her from neglecting her adult responsibilities and calling her a terrible mother?

Featured Image

My ex (32 F) is a wreck of a human...

While I know that they impact her daily life, I...

There are many reasons why I believe this,

but when we were together I noticed that she would...

Yet, when something she wanted to do came around she...

It's one thing if she wants to use her conditions...

Both our daughters have expressed to me that they can...

If they want to do anything that mom does not...

However, when mom wants to do anything it has never...

Their mom was supposed to pick them up from after-school...

It's a 14 mile journey to their mom's house from...

Their mom is supposed to pick them up and she...

I had to leave work early and took them to...

She claimed she was having an incredibly rough day, had...

The excuse of depression and anxiety came up again and...

I told her that her disabilities do not excuse her...

I won't get into what I fully said to her...

I told her that I would also be taking her...

My daughters are still with me right now, and when...

I've already sent over the documents to my lawyer but...

She claims that I was way out of line, and...

I also got an incredibly hostile text from my ex's...

Now I'm wondering if I truly went overboard.

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

Contentisbest NTA, The line that sends this over the top...

You definitely could have handled it better, and you definitely...

She should have called you and told you she wasn't...

Ok_Shopping_3341 Speaking as someone who has experienced crippling depression, NTA.

If her depression is so debilitating that it means she...

It also appears to me that she is using her...

Arc_Nexus NTA, she neglected your daughters.

She clearly needs some support and help from someone, but...

You're already on it, but document anything like this that...

and getting full custody is the best thing you can...

harleybidness Mom is putting the girls in danger. Maybe it's...

If you decide to sue, keep a journal of events...

Soggy-Calligrapher24 NTA. If her anxiety and depression is this bad...

Her taking a nap KNOWING she would have to pick...

She could have at least called or texted asking if...

whatsername235 NTA, this is a child protection issue.

Your daughters are being neglected because of their mothers medical...

If it was physical health causing her not to be...

The best you can do is support her with that...

cla*s="comment_author">Sammiewise: As someone with severe Complex PTSD and a hoard...

anxiety) NTA for fighting for custody of your daughters,

if her mental Health is so crippled she can't even...

My anxiety is nt ever that bad when I'm excited...

Significant_Rule_855 NTA.

As someone with severe anxiety/depression/ptsd I know how hard it...

But since I became a mom? My kids come first....

happy and have everything they need. Going off grid for...

murphy2345678 and neglecting your children is never EVER excusa: NTA....

She isn't taking care of them.

You didn't need to go off on her like you...

Go to court and possibly get some therapy for your...

The_Amazing_Username NTA- your first responsibility is to ensure your children...

which if your ex can't get out of bed for...

it's clear that she is not caring for them... Go...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this post, it’s clear that many readers empathize with the father’s frustration and concern for his daughters. People recognize the complexity of mental health issues like anxiety and depression, but they also agree that consistency and responsibility in parenting are crucial. Several commenters pointed out that while mental health struggles are real and valid, using them as a blanket excuse to avoid parenting duties can be harmful to the children involved. Many urged for seeking professional help for the mother and suggested that the father continue to prioritize the well-being and emotional safety of the daughters, potentially seeking mediation or legal advice to ensure their needs are met.

In reflecting on the story and the responses, it’s evident that co-parenting in such challenging circumstances requires clear communication, boundaries, and sometimes external support. Mental health conditions don’t excuse neglect, but they do call for compassion and understanding from all parties. Ultimately, the children’s stability and emotional health should be the guiding priorities. The father’s proactive approach in stepping in during missed pickups and advocating for the kids’ feelings shows a commitment to their welfare that many readers found commendable. This situation highlights the importance of balancing empathy for parental struggles with firm accountability to protect children’s best interests.

Ankit

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