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AITA for refusing to buy a bridesmaid’s dress until I get closer to my goal weight?

by Ankit
September 25, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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When Bri, excited and hopeful, asked her sister to stand by her side as a bridesmaid, it was a moment filled with unexpected warmth and possibility. Despite the distance between them, the invitation sparked a fragile connection, a chance to share in a milestone that should unite rather than divide.

But beneath the surface, the weight of past struggles and personal transformation cast a shadow over the joy. The costly dress Bri insisted on became more than just fabric—it was a symbol of pressure, misunderstanding, and the painful clash between self-worth and familial expectations.

AITA for refusing to buy a bridesmaid’s dress until I get closer to my goal weight?

My (28F) sister "Bri" 29F is getting married a year...

I was surprised because Bri and I aren't super close,...

I used to be extremely overweight, and last year I...

I'm much happier and healthier than I was, but I'd...

I've never been a bridesmaid, but apparently it is common...

Bri has asked us to order the dress within a...

I called Bri and told her I am on a...

Bri seemed really upset by this-she asked if I could...

I told her I plan on being almost 60 pounds...

Bri asked then if I could slow down my weight...

I feel amazing and I'm already losing at a slow...

as I requested, 2-she can buy me the dress now...

Bri did not seem keen on any of these options-even...

not me, so why does it matter if I wear...

but then I got a call from my mother telling...

She reiterated how it's Bri's day, not mine, and when...

To be truthful, I am finally starting to feel confident...

I wouldn't have cared if I wore a too-loose dress...

even though I only buy dirt-cheap clothes, I make sure...

So yes, even though it is not my wedding, this...

I want to look my best for these photos because...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

AshlynM2 YTA You have 2 super reasonable and simple options...

Buy the dress in your current size and take it...

Buy the dress a couple sizes smaller so it'll fit...

fashion_thrower fit into the dress.: YTA here but softly.

Weight loss is unpredictable ESPECIALLY as you get closer to...

I'd buy your current size or maybe one size down...

I've dealt with that choice between "buy something new" or...

WEM-2022 I really feel: YTA.

You can get the dress the size you are now...

Can't believe no one thought of this. Look, if you...

- then just tell her that you don't want to...

Stay_W0K3 I'm going to go against most comments and say...

and tailoring is ridiculously expensive. Sure, the dress could be...

If the cost is the reason not, I would explain...

According-Let3541 INFO: is there a reason you can't buy the...

Or buy a slightly smaller size than you currently are...

And is this less about the dress and more about...

Because it seems like you and your sister are ignoring...

howdidienduphere34 I am completely shocked by the responses here. You...

$300 dollars for a dress that may or may not...

For someone you are not even close with. You gave...

Forward-Wear7913 Anyone saying "just buy the dress and have it...

At this point, you should just drop out of the...

It sounds like you don't feel like you belong in...

You're going to resent her if you spend that money...

I do think it will require a lot of money...

cla*s="comment_author">Aromatic_Recipe1749: NTA I can't stand this over the top trend...

matters.

I think that you should just tell your mother and...

everyone gets what they want. Take the $300 and buy...

875_champagne I can't believe people's reaction. NTA. She offered several...

And the bride decided to put her wedding over her...

If she cared about her sister at all, she would...

OP you have done nothing wrong.

Francl27 Everyone saying "get it alteted" or "just wear a...

Asking people to buy a dress ONE YEAR EARLY is...

A lot of things can happen in one year, what...

It's ridiculous how so many people use their "special day"...

After reading the Reddit comments, it’s clear many empathize with the sister’s position. The financial and emotional pressure of buying an expensive bridesmaid dress, especially when still on a weight loss journey, felt unreasonable to many. Others pointed out that while brides have the right to pick their bridal party attire, communication and compromise are key to avoid hurting relationships. The consensus leans toward the sister being honest and setting boundaries, as she did, which is admirable despite the tension it caused.

In conclusion, this story highlights the importance of understanding and flexibility in family dynamics, especially during milestone events. While the bride’s excitement for her big day is natural, it’s equally crucial to consider the feelings and circumstances of those closest to her. Balancing celebration with compassion can help preserve relationships long after the wedding day has passed.

Ankit

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