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AITA for wanting to know my wifes family but not at the cost of remarrying

by Michael Lee
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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Their love blossomed against the odds, a daring union that defied the strict boundaries of religion, caste, and race. Eloping quietly, they created a world of their own—one filled with intimacy, trust, and unspoken promises—while the weight of disapproval loomed silently in the background.

Though deeply woven into each other’s lives and embraced by friends and family here, a part of their story remains untold. He knows her world in fragments, yet the rich tapestry of her culture and the warmth of her distant family remain a mystery, a silent barrier between their shared present and her cherished past.

AITA for wanting to know my wifes family but not at the cost of remarrying

I 28M dated my wife 26F for three years before...

She made it clear to me sometime into our relationship...

caste and race but we both decided to go for...

Her parents didnt even know she was dating me at...

my sisters treat her like a sister and my parents...

However despite the fact that I know she has very...

experiencing her traditions which I think is important because we've...

Six months ago she finally told her parents about me,...

Recently they have finally started to come around a bit...

I brough this up with her and she was intially...

However last night she sat me down and told me...

For us to act as we are not currently married...

parents.

(To clarify she said we would not bear the financial...

to simply tell them the truth and come clean,

I also dont want to have another wedding ceremony when...

She broke down at this and told me she can't...

it is the only way four our relationship to work....

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

Algebralovr NAH you also need to accept that for her...

then you need to marry in her culture. This will...

ComplexFirefighter62 Her family will demand it or will be dishonored.:...

it's just having another celebration so that her family can...

I can understand not wanting to lie, but like you...

whatev88 NAH, but I'm definitely feeling more sympathetic for her.

She lied because she felt like she had no other...

No, it wasn't the best choice, but it was one...

you can't come close to understanding. Now it looks like...

and her family accept you - something she had never...

If you want to understand her culture, please get off...

you know d**n well you're going to find a lot...

and right now you need to be thinking about hers)...

Look up other accounts of white Americans who married someone...

I have a hunch doing this would show that what...

In cultures with such strict social norms and traditions around...

children lying to their parents about it is pretty darn...

Doing what she wants will leave you feeling kinda gross...

though that feeling may change once you have an Indian...

Even if her parents come around, they'll still want you...

So while I don't think you're an a*shole for not...

I do kinda think you'll be one if you insist...

Salty-Ad5904 YTA....it's HUGE, beyond HUGE in the Indian culture to...

Which you didn't do so now play pretend. The wedding...

2nd PDA isn't acceptable anyway so you won't be able...

4th if they find out she was married already, they...

But you ain't gonna change this by taking a stand....

TheDiscordium So play along and enjoy the ride: NAH.

Culture and familial pressure can be quite a burden for...

Should you go through with this, it will be an...

I'm a white guy and have been fortunate to be...

This type of wedding may be critical for her parents...

" I also believe she needs to be more honest...

I don't think everyone stinks and understand how difficult this...

sharp-Yarn ​ edit: fixed for bot: ESH.

"**I decided** it was probably high time I visit her...

I brought this up with her and she was initially...

You forced the idea and she's playing with this hand...

" **I truly don't think I come close to understanding...

try for kids this year and want to raise them...

If you talk the talk about wanting your kids to...

St*tchandReuben actually want your kids to ID as both in...

*You* decided it was time for you to visit her...

*You* are stomping your feet and not wanting to do...

Yeah, she sucks for hiding the relationship and marriage, but...

How exactly do you want to raise kids with knowledge...

You want her to cave and make herself and her...

but you say another wedding ceremony celebrating the two of...

FaithlessnessNo3286 Hmmm I kinda think ESH,

because she should have been more upfront with her family...

I'm not unsympathetic because I'm Asian as well and understand...

If a big Indian wedding is what would make all...

How can you claim to want to know more about...

I do get where you are coming from, and you've...

But 'coming clean' etc etc and expecting them just to...

more likely for your wife than you. But going forward...

Sounds like you won't see them super frequently in the...

hmmmmmmpsu Pick your battles - this is not the hill...

but I side with your wife. This is a culture...

Trust and support your wife. You're a team now, back...

you should have said something BEFORE eloping.

OldGrumpGamer NAH but kinda gently YTA you are looking at...

"She gets along great with MY family and MY friends"...

still has MY family!" Maybe she wants to introduce you...

She obviously still wants a relationship with them. You say...

You have to show respect for your wife's customs, culture...

I can understand not wanting to lie but if this...

and accept their culture) then do it.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the challenges this couple faces in bridging their cultural differences. Commenters often highlight the importance of open communication and mutual respect in intercultural relationships, especially when one partner feels disconnected from the other’s heritage. Many suggest that making an effort to engage with her family and traditions could not only deepen their bond but also help the husband gain a fuller understanding of his wife’s identity.

In my opinion, while love and acceptance within their immediate circles are wonderful foundations, embracing the cultural roots that shaped each partner can enrich the marriage. It might be worthwhile for the husband to take small but meaningful steps toward exploring his wife’s background, perhaps by meeting her family or participating in traditional events. Doing so could build bridges that enhance their connection and show his commitment to honoring all parts of her life.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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