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AITA,for stepping back from caring for my disabled parent because it’s destroying my mental health?

by Emily Davis
October 17, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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From a young age, he bore the heavy burden of caring for a mother whose once vibrant life was shattered by devastating brain injuries. Each day was a battle against her fading recognition, the cruel isolation of her verbal abuse toward others, and the relentless weight of responsibility that no one else would share.

But beneath the surface of his tireless devotion lies a fragile mind struggling to hold on. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, psychosis, and ADHD, he faces his own war within, and now, for the first time, he must choose to protect himself—even if it means facing the harsh judgment of those who claim he’s forsaking the only person left to him.

AITA,for stepping back from caring for my disabled parent because it’s destroying my mental health?

I (22M) have been my disabled parent's (53F) main carer...

She can't walk more than a few meters, struggles to...

My family stopped helping years ago because of her att*tude,...

Over the years, I've tried my best, but my own...

Such as schizophrenia, psychosis and adhd, that make things much...

I've started stepping back from being her full-time carer because...

Now my family is calling me selfish and heartless, saying...

" I feel awful hearing that, but I also know...

Thank you all so much for the amazing comments, can't...

I will keep all of this in mind and come...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Tribestar If they are family, how come your mother 'only...

radsabel You absolutely need to prioritise your own health. You...

You've already done more than most people would in your...

You can't pour from an empty cup taking care of...

Compet*tiveBuddy3712 it's survival: NTA. The only reason they only have...

FaelingJester ‍ amazing how that works.: "I literally can not.

My own health needs make it not safe for either...

" then if anyone suggests you take on more just...

So what else can we do?" She may honestly just...

Trespa*singw Your family is welcome to step up caring about...

You are burnt out and have to take care of...

laughter_corgis NTA when family tries to guilt trip say something...

your day is tomorrow. They will backpedal. It is okay...

Being a caregiver is hard and having help and a...

tinyd71 You deserve a life too: This sounds like a...

You're ent*tled to your own life. Reinstate the professional caregivers,...

Those in your family who think you're "abandoning" your mother...

RubyNotTawny NTA: >They say that since she only has me...

It's just much easier for them if you do all...

My sweet old grandpa became a brute and a bully...

I felt sorry for those nuns, having to listen to...

we forced a decision. OP, you have to take care...

Reach out to local agencies that can help and tell...

Throw their words back at them - how can they...

HungryMagpie How can they be so uncaring towards you, when...

I watched one of my best friends get treated like...

Thing is she'd been begging for help caring for her...

When she finally snapped and left they suddenly figured out...

akaredshasta NTA Look up 'Parentification'. There is no way you...

You should also consider therapy because you have been placed...

The very fact that you're questioning whether it's okay to...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize deeply with the original poster’s situation. Caring for a disabled parent with severe brain damage is an immense responsibility—one that can take a devastating toll on a person’s mental and emotional health. Commenters have emphasized that it’s not selfish to prioritize one’s own well-being, especially when the caregiver is struggling with serious mental health conditions themselves. The consensus is that seeking help and setting boundaries is necessary and courageous, not heartless.

In my opinion, the family’s harsh judgment overlooks the complexity of the situation and the very real risks of caregiver burnout. While it’s understandable to want to support a loved one in need, it’s unrealistic and unfair to expect one person to carry the entire burden alone, especially at the cost of their own health. Ultimately, ensuring the parent receives quality care may mean involving professionals and accepting that the caregiver needs time and space to heal. Compassion for both the parent and the caregiver should be the focus, rather than blame.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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