I’m a 25-year-old guy who was genuinely looking for a real relationship—something meaningful. I met a girl, B (23F), on a dating app and we hit it off right away. We went on a few dates, spent time together, even slept together. We texted every day for about a month, and it felt like something was really starting to develop. I told her I liked her, and she said she liked me too.
Then, completely out of nowhere, she stopped responding.
I sent her a message one day—she read it but didn’t reply. I figured she might’ve been busy, so I didn’t think much of it. The next day I messaged her again, asking if she wanted to go out for a day trip or something fun. Same thing: message read, no reply.
At that point, I decided not to text her again. I didn’t want to be annoying, and if she was interested, she’d reach out. But she never did. Three weeks went by with complete silence, and I assumed she ghosted me.
So I moved on. I got back on the dating app and eventually met someone new—K (26F). We really clicked, started dating, and things have been going great between us for the past couple of weeks.
Then yesterday, out of the blue, B messaged me. She apologized and told me her grandmother had passed away and that she had been struggling mentally. I told her I was sorry to hear that, and then she tried to pick up right where we left off, like nothing had happened.
I replied and explained that I had assumed she wasn’t interested anymore, and that I was seeing someone else now. She didn’t take it well. She sent me a long message explaining how she didn’t want to dump her emotional struggles on me while we were still just getting to know each other.
I told her that I would’ve totally understood that—if she had just said something. A simple message would’ve been enough. But leaving me on read for weeks without a word? That’s not how I operate. I’m not the type to sit around hoping for a reply from someone who disappears.
She called me heartless. I told her I can’t read minds. She’s messaged me a few more times since then, but I’ve blocked her number. For what it’s worth, I’ve also told K about everything—just to be upfront and honest.
I’m not losing sleep over it, but I’ve had a couple of people suggest I could’ve been more understanding. So I’m wondering—AITAH for moving on and dating someone else after B ghosted me for over a month?
See what others had to share with OP:
TheMistressBela said:
You were upfront and clear in your communication with B, and after being ghosted for over a month, you had no reason to keep waiting for her to reach out.
When she stopped responding, you gave her space and didn’t pester her, which is respectful. People are entitled to move on when they feel ignored or disrespected, and you did so by dating someone else.
707808909808707 said:
She was seeing someone else, buddy. When he was done with her, she came back to you. It’s not complicated—she just thought you’d wait around and not ask any questions.
Glum_Bet_9895 said:
NTA. And honestly, I doubt there even was a grandma. She probably thought she found someone better, and when that didn’t work out, she came crawling back.
Couette_Couette said:
Let’s pretend she was telling the truth about why she ghosted you. The obvious conclusion is still that she’s not mentally ready to date anyone. You were right to move on. NTA.
SecretaryPresent16 said:
Absolutely NTA. Maybe she was going through something, but grandma or no grandma, she can’t expect you to just sit around in silence for weeks. You weren’t even in a relationship. You’re not heartless—you’re normal.
Broficionado said:
Nope, NTA. You’re not her therapist, and even if you were, that kind of support isn’t free.
Ghosting someone for a month is a loud and clear “not interested.”
And come on, “my grandma died”? We’ve all lost someone. What, she broke her thumbs out of grief and couldn’t send a single text like, “I’m going through something, I’ll reach out later”? That takes two seconds.
dr_lucia said:
Honestly, you made the right call. I feel sorry for her loss, sure, but she still could’ve communicated.
You can’t be expected to wait around forever after getting ghosted. That’s not being heartless—it’s having boundaries.
And seriously, are you supposed to drop the new girl just because the old one popped back up? NTA.
Shoddyintrovert32 said:
NTA. If it’s true she was grieving, then all it would’ve taken was one message: “My grandma passed, I need a little space.” But she chose silence and ignored you. Drama before even dating properly? Big red flag.
Lualin87 said:
NTA. When my husband and I were still in the “maybe more than friends” phase, his granddad died. He messaged me and let me know he needed time to help his family and process it. I completely understood. A month later, he reached out—and now we’ve been married 16 years. The difference? He communicated. She didn’t.
