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AITA for asking my trans brother to be my “bridesman?”

by Ankit
September 2, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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AITA for asking my trans brother to be my “bridesman?”

My (27 F) brother "Jake" (fake name; 25 M) transitioned...

I am getting married next year, and I've been gathering...

and it was also important for me to have Jake...

I didn't think it would be an issue at all,...

Jake said that he should be a groomsman for my...

He accused me of asking him to be a bridesman...

I explained to him that it didn't make any sense...

and my fiancé already has the budget-approved number of groomsmen....

Plus, before Jake transitioned, I always planned to include him...

I see his argument that it might make him feel...

Besides, he has a beard and he'd be wearing a...

Jake and I fought back and forth for a while,...

He called me an a*shole, and it made me feel...

Edit: he's still invited to the wedding as a guest,...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

whateverathrowaway00 NTA, you aren't telling him he has to restrict...

or making him dress like a gender he isn't -...

I always think it's weird when people stand on the...

Korona123 NTA.

Yeah bridesmen are definitely non traditional but hanging onto tradition...

jemdtc NTA - he's from your side of the family...

If he wants an active role in the wedding he...

sofia1687 NAH I don't think anybody here is an a*shole.

You want to include your brother on this celebration of...

how many stories I've read here about weddings where the...

No_Solid_9151 It's also understandable how it can make him feel...

two of my three bridesmaids were men.

I won't say your brother is TA but he's clearly...

deaddlikelatin Edit to change they to he: Trans guy here.

To a point I can understand the dysphoria it might...

" Personally I wouldn't be bothered by this and I...

that_was_way_harsh since I'm not really big on the whole traditional...

Normally I'd be wholly on your side in that bridal...

but if your brother is recently transitioned and/or not everyone...

I'd consider letting him have what he wants since he's...

PlanktonOk4846 NAH I can see how being in the bride's...

but the old school rules are going out the window....

wore a 3 piece suit and everything (and im fairly...

catzrob89 ": NTA. It would be weird for him to...

ObstinateTortoise Wow. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

He's just extremely oversensitive to being in the vicinity of...

I'm a cis dude, both of my best friends are...

NAH but he should probably chill.

Ankit

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