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AITA for telling my roomates I’m only paying 1/4 of the rent+utilities going forward

by Ankit
September 12, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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For four years, they shared a home, bills, and lives—until a new life arrived, changing everything. The birth of their daughter brought joy but also unseen tensions, as the balance of space, resources, and fairness began to shift beneath their feet.

When one roommate finally voiced the quiet truth—that the household dynamics and expenses no longer felt equal—the response was sharp and painful. Accusations of selfishness and betrayal cut deeper than expected, turning a plea for fairness into a fracture that threatened to break their fragile bond forever.

AITA for telling my roomates I’m only paying 1/4 of the rent+utilities going forward

So I've lived with my roomates for 4 years now...

in April of 2023 they welcomed their daughter into this...

Since then, our electric has steadily increased and the baby...

and #2 using more electricity for the baby whether it...

Recently (within the last 3 days) I felt comfortable enough...

only 1. They reacted by saying I'm being selfish, I'm...

To top it all off they told me I must...

My boyfriend also spends the night frequently but is only...

household as he doesn't live there. AITA? Edit Q&A 1....

The need for heating, cooling, laundry, and other baby-related utilities...

Occupancy: With the baby occupying her own room and additional...

My request for them to pay 3/4 of the rent...

It can be seen as logical because: 1. Proportional Share:...

Increased Expenses: The increase in utility usage due to the...

Their reaction seems emotionally charged, which might be due to...

Sensitivity: New parents can be very protective and sensitive about...

Perception of Fairness: They might see the arrangement differently,

believing that the household costs should not change because they...

My Boyfriend's Presence My boyfriend staying over frequently could be...

However, his usage and presence is limited overall and he...

Him being over as well is not impacting the way...

Is he freeloading when I'm the one that invites him...

overall I get the point of view but they said...

brings food over for all of us without asking which...

Edit #2 I've come to the general consensus that despite...

that I'm PARTIALLY the A*shole here because at the end...

I probably did bring it up at the wrong time...

at the house giving the impression that I'm being a...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Plastic_Blood1782 YTA. It's a 3 bedroom house.

They are using 2 of the bedrooms, you have your...

A TV uses about $15 of electricity in an entire...

Legal-Lingonberry577 NTA - rent is divided by number of rooms....

Easy peasy.

DubiousPeoplePleaser I'm going ESH because none of you are able...

view. They are taking 2 bedrooms so more space, and...

It is however not a 4 way split since your...

A barter system only works if both parties agree to...

National_Pension_110 I feel like there's more going on than just...

I'm going to say NAH because you're both probably justified...

Think about it for a minute-for three years, you were...

okayNowThrowItAway They tried to include you in that family by...

they probably want you to move out. A baby doesn't...

and squabbling over utilities is pretty bullshit in a shared...

ActionTop62 ESH: INFO: Have you spoken to your landlord about...

or did you just decide that you should pay less...

eefr NTA. Your reasoning seems sound to me: you are...

They're free to disagree and negotiate,

but calling you two-faced and saying you're dead to them...

If they can't have a reasonable conversation about this like...

forgeris What people need to do is write down their...

then when something changes they can always go back and...

figure out if the increase is due to price increase...

pyrrhaHA I have no idea by how much a toddler...

although their reaction sounds so unbelievably over the top I...

The one thing that does send you slightly into AH...

It sounds like you decided to stop paying 1/3 with...

Raj__u NTA, it's better to leave the rental house ASAP.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s position. Splitting bills evenly among roommates works when the living situation is balanced, but the arrival of a new family member changes the dynamics significantly. Most commenters agree that it’s reasonable to ask for a fair adjustment when more people are using the utilities and space. However, communication and empathy are crucial, and some suggest approaching the conversation with more understanding to avoid such harsh reactions.

In my opinion, the situation highlights how complicated shared living can become when circumstances change. While the roommates’ emotional response is understandable given the stress of a newborn, it’s still important to address the financial realities honestly. Ideally, they would find a compromise that respects both the financial burden and their relationship. Open dialogue, perhaps with a mediator, could help rebuild trust and fairness moving forward.

Ankit

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