I (27M) started working with my dad (55M) as a plumber when I was 15. I went to college, got my qualifications in plumbing and gas, and have spent over a decade helping build his business from the ground up. My older brother (30M), on the other hand, went to university and became an accountant. For most of his adult life, he lived and worked in the city, far away from the family trade.
When COVID hit, my brother moved back home and started working with my dad — not in the field, but in the office, managing accounting. Around the same time, my dad’s health began to seriously decline due to asbestosis, and over the past four years, it’s only gotten worse. Despite everything, he’s stayed positive and still joins me on Fridays for a half-day on the tools, followed by beers at my place — a little tradition we both cherish.
For the past two years, I’ve effectively been running the business. We’ve expanded massively, from a small father-son operation to a company with 50 vans on the road, each with a qualified plumber and a trainee. It hasn’t been easy, especially through COVID, but we survived and even grew stronger.
Then, last month, everything changed.
My dad gathered the family and announced he was stepping down from the business to spend more time with my mum. He said he was handing full control of the business over to my brother — and that I would step down as acting CEO and return to being a heating engineer. With a £20,000 pay cut.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I’ve been here for 12 years. My brother never wanted anything to do with the business before. In fact, he once said it wasn’t worth his time. And now suddenly he’s the boss? He’s never even done the work. He doesn’t understand the field or the guys out in it every day.
When I spoke to my dad, he told me my brother deserved it — because he has a family, because he went to university, and because of “all he’s done” (whatever that means). A lot of the guys at work are angry too. Some have told me they’ll leave and follow me if I go solo.
So I made a decision.
I told my dad that if that’s how he feels — if he truly believes my brother should inherit what I’ve worked my ass off to build — then I’m out. I left and told them not to contact me again. I haven’t spoken to either my dad or my brother since.
Over the past month, I’ve received hundreds of calls and messages from extended family. Some were heartbreaking. Others were downright cruel. They’re calling me ungrateful. They’re saying I abandoned the family. That I had it good and just threw it all away.
But did I?
I gave over a decade of my life to this business. I ran it when no one else would. I built it into something great. And now it’s been handed off to someone who never wanted it in the first place. So tell me, AITA for walking away?
